on another note, my knee is really hurting. left knee on the outside, especially when i go down stairs...luckily i live on the first floor! so, when i went to yoga last night i was easy on it. but still sometimes i am not sure how far to go into a pose. for example, take bow pose. the first little kick up with the feet to get into the pose really hurts, and then i feel fine the further i get. do i push through that initial pain, or do i take it easy and lay off the bow for a bit? which is better for me knee? i still want to go to class, but i find it hard to be there and not doing the poses. it brings up my issues with feeling weak. which is something that doing bikram was really quite the opposite for me, i feel so strong during and after class. all part of the learning, i suppose.
the book has also been a continued source of inspiration. i truly enjoy learning more about the yoga of life, beyond the classroom. how yoga can bring you to your true calling and service for the world, you karma yoga. now that is something that excites me. however, it also holds patience to be a key part...and so with that lesson in hand, i will continue with class. however i show up everyday. and be patient, stay determined, and have faith that i am right where i need to be. that i will have the wisdom and insight to know when life is taking me a new direction. i can be very impatient say, for a new job. for my true calling. to give it my all. part of why i think i hate my job sometimes is because i don't give it my all. and yet i show up everyday and don't give it over and over. i just don't want to be there. but where? and again, patience, faith...and just keep going to yoga because that is where i feel most clear...and where i can feel the most positive influences seeping into my life in every facet.
tomorrow morning jamie is coming with me!
oh and more exciting news! my neighbors, the sweet Olivers, they gifted me a month of unlimited hot yoga at a studio downtown!!!! how fortuitous! thank you Olivers!!!! things really come together when you let them. when you open up to possibilities greater than you previously thought were part of your reality. i will be using that to continue my yoga for the month of may...even though i will be also doing the next thing on our list. i am just not willing to let yoga go!
I'll leave you with a quote from Bikram's book..."You can do it. Tightly grip the steering wheel of your own life, turn the master key in the ignition, shift into drive and take back control of your life. it's so simple. just open your eyes, open your heart and open your mind, and allow your Spirit to guide you to on the road. Trust in your Self to make the decisions that will lead you to peace happiness and a true satisfaction in living." (bikram's loves are yoga and cars, so he often, really often, uses vehicular analogies.)