Friday, April 23, 2010

Blog About it....

So I was chatting with Melissa today on the phone and by text (oh I am going to miss that) and was talking talking talking about what I am learning about myself during all this and she said "blog about it" so I will. I have no idea if I will really find a passion or not but what I do know is that I have already learned so much about myself and why I like things and why well things are not my is amazing to me how much personality comes into play and sometimes really hard to change. My sister Sam says I have already found my passion in going to the gym..oh I do love that but really should that be a passion...I just want that to be something I just do because it is good for me. I guess I could make body building a passion..ugh should have put that on the list. Yoga, yoga, yoga...sometimes I love you and well sometimes not so much. For sure I will incorporate it into my regular workout routine but do it everyday I don't think that will happen. What is most interesting to me is why not! I have really been thinking about why I am not that into it and why I originally thought it was so great. So I will be honest the first week I went 6 or 7 days in a right..ahhh no it is because I can not do anything in moderation. If I go one day I have to go everyday...and I was happy cause I lost like 5 pounds that week but just not sustainable for me and I am ok with that. So after my trip I tried to go back to it and yuck not so fun. I just can not get into feeling the body, working with the body, listening to the body. Questions I have ....why are we always resting in that class..I swear if you cut out the resting we could be in and out of there in like 45minutes..maybe then I would like it better. The teacher says don't think about anything...right as I am wishing I had a paper and pencil so I could write down everything I am thinking about..then I get kinda sleepy and think about going to bed and waiting waiting waiting for the resting to be over....can you imagine this..kinda funny. So I want to respect the practice right because they must believe in what they do so I just need to decide if the fact that I can not or don't want to be that still is something that I even care to change about myself and really I am thinking not so much. I like that about myself...I like being busy, moving my body, and not listening to my breath :)! So I think I will be ok with the fact that Bikram is maybe for me sometimes and an extra benefit but that I do not have to do it all the time and if I need to fit into a dress (say for a wedding I have in June) I know where to go for a quick 5 pounds. See...I am happy with my busy self...finally :) I have been doing power yoga for the past two days and I will say much better. Faster, stronger, more cardio..not so much resting. This is better for me and I am ok with that. looking forward to meditation month...I am going to have to dig deep for that one :) So...not that this is what this blog is about but big news! My family is moving to Geneva Switzerland in July so this is going international. I have every plan to finish the year and blog my way through it..just maybe in French. xxoo-Dina

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