Monday, January 23, 2012

I WON $50!

In an uneventful trip to the supermarket,
I bought this ticket.  No big deal.  Just big money.
posted by Melissa Baumgart
50 bucks!  That's right!  Take that Statistics class!

Today as I sat in statistics learning about probability, the teacher announced how very slim the probability is of winning at a casino.  OK, I thought, I'll buy that.  Then she slipped in at the very end, under or her breath..."Or on the lottery."  I deflated.  I had just bought the most expensive scratch off ticket yet, it cost me $10.  I don't know why I did it, I just had a $10 bill and before I knew it, I was pushing the button for the one ticket that cost exactly that much.

I also bought a few lotto tickets:  Hit 5, Lotto, and Daily Keno.  None were winners, if you were wondering.  The interesting thing though, is that as I checked the tickets online, I was able to relax as I did so.  Usually I carry this weighed thrill, like if I wish for it hard enough, I can be a winner.  It was nice to see some shift in that stress, to let go of the illusion that I have some power over the odds.  (makes me think of all those good luck tokens at Bingo)

So, back to my big scratch off, Grand Fortune is its name.  I sat down tonight, after a long day of working probability problems and seeing the chances of my hopeful winnings go deeper and deeper down the dark well of loser-dom.  Every problem I did drove that gloomy message farther down til it became a part of my own belief, you are not going to win anything during sweepstakes month.  There is science to back this up, classical probability theory.  It even has a fancy name.

"But someone has to win!" my ever optimistic voice peeped, trying to be heard from way down in that well.  Trying to change my peer-reviewed mind.

I used my lucky dollar (one I found a week
 ago on the ground) to buy a ticket the other day.
  I was sure that dollar was going
to bring me a winner.  It didn't.
OK, I know, it all sounds so dramatic, right?  After all, this is just a scratch-off ticket.  But it's not for me. I used to get so wrapped up in manifesting my destiny, that I was convinced I was going to win every time I played the lottery.  I thought and thought, I visualized until I forgot to breathe.  I never did win, but this is how strong my belief in winning has been.  This is how deep-rooted this goes for me.

I think it all started back in grade school, at a fund-raiser in the school cafeteria when I won that ceramic ET lamp with the light up finger.  That sealed my fate as a bonafide winner.

So, back to the Grand Fortune.  No, I didn't win the $100,000 prize, or even the $10,000, or $5,000.  But I did, however, win $50!  My biggest winning yet.  It may very well even out all the the non-winning tickets I have bought thus far.  Which wouldn't be half bad, better than ending up in the red.

And hey, we still have 8 more days to prove that someone does have to win.  And it might as well be me.  The good part of it all, is that whether I win or lose for the rest of this month, I feel relaxed about it and carefree.  It's for fun, it's not meant to be a pressure filled experience.

And with that, a peaceful sleep to all.  Good night...


Mary said...

Congratulations on your win and your very positive attitude. This is my first visit to your blog so I took some to to browse through your earlier entries. I'm so glad I did that. You've created a very readable spot to visit and I really enjoyed the time I spent here. I'll be back. I hope you have a great day. Blessings...Mary

sophanne said...

Maybe it's the E.T. Light but I'm more inclined to believe there is some nature/nurture going on in your beliefs. I, in fact, am married to a man who taught statistics at a major university and still relies on manifest destiny and visualization so that we can occasionally buy the extra treat of an air pop popcorn popper. Just sayin... And watch your mail.

Melissa Baumgart and Amy Baranski said...

Mary, Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so happy you found your way to our blog. I hope you'll enjoy our next year's adventures as well, which start in February. 12 new things coming up soon! Maybe you can join us in some, from your hometown.

Becky, ooops, I mean, Sophanne :)
Yes, I think I may have learned some of this destiny-making from somewhere. and the mail came today! A POPPER!!!! I can't wait to get home from class tonight and have some yummy popcorn! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!