I WON $50!

In an uneventful trip to the supermarket,
I bought this ticket.  No big deal.  Just big money.
(sorta)

posted by Melissa Baumgart
50 bucks!  That's right!  Take that Statistics class!

Today as I sat in statistics learning about probability, the teacher announced how very slim the probability is of winning at a casino.  OK, I thought, I'll buy that.  Then she slipped in at the very end, under or her breath..."Or on the lottery."  I deflated.  I had just bought the most expensive scratch off ticket yet, it cost me $10.  I don't know why I did it, I just had a $10 bill and before I knew it, I was pushing the button for the one ticket that cost exactly that much.

I also bought a few lotto tickets:  Hit 5, Lotto, and Daily Keno.  None were winners, if you were wondering.  The interesting thing though, is that as I checked the tickets online, I was able to relax as I did so.  Usually I carry this weighed thrill, like if I wish for it hard enough, I can be a winner.  It was nice to see some shift in that stress, to let go of the illusion that I have some power over the odds.  (makes me think of all those good luck tokens at Bingo)

So, back to my big scratch off, Grand Fortune is its name.  I sat down tonight, after a long day of working probability problems and seeing the chances of my hopeful winnings go deeper and deeper down the dark well of loser-dom.  Every problem I did drove that gloomy message farther down til it became a part of my own belief, you are not going to win anything during sweepstakes month.  There is science to back this up, classical probability theory.  It even has a fancy name.

"But someone has to win!" my ever optimistic voice peeped, trying to be heard from way down in that well.  Trying to change my peer-reviewed mind.

I used my lucky dollar (one I found a week
 ago on the ground) to buy a ticket the other day.
  I was sure that dollar was going
to bring me a winner.  It didn't.

OK, I know, it all sounds so dramatic, right?  After all, this is just a scratch-off ticket.  But it's not for me. I used to get so wrapped up in manifesting my destiny, that I was convinced I was going to win every time I played the lottery.  I thought and thought, I visualized until I forgot to breathe.  I never did win, but this is how strong my belief in winning has been.  This is how deep-rooted this goes for me.

I think it all started back in grade school, at a fund-raiser in the school cafeteria when I won that ceramic ET lamp with the light up finger.  That sealed my fate as a bonafide winner.

So, back to the Grand Fortune.  No, I didn't win the $100,000 prize, or even the $10,000, or $5,000.  But I did, however, win $50!  My biggest winning yet.  It may very well even out all the the non-winning tickets I have bought thus far.  Which wouldn't be half bad, better than ending up in the red.

And hey, we still have 8 more days to prove that someone does have to win.  And it might as well be me.  The good part of it all, is that whether I win or lose for the rest of this month, I feel relaxed about it and carefree.  It's for fun, it's not meant to be a pressure filled experience.

And with that, a peaceful sleep to all.  Good night...
Melissa