Anticipating what will come next.

posted by Melissa Baumgart
I am working on my list of 6 things for Good Luck With That's third year!

Finding the Methow Valley, an unexpected
Silver Lining during the torturous
Hiking and Backpacking month.

It keeps changing.  I think I have 6 things concretely on my list, and then something new will pop up.  Today I found a few things that are of interest, but I am not sure of the broad spectrum acceptance of a couple of them.  One is a little odd, and yet very intriguing to me.  The other kinda seems more like a guy's thing, but still, I feel strangely drawn to it.  There is another that I want to do, but I wonder if I will need to find classes.  Sometimes finding classes to fit nicely into a one month window can be a challenge, even greater than funding the classes can be.

I try to stick with what comes up, and follow the threads that are presented to me, without questioning the idea too much.  Will people want to read about this?  What if I end up hating it?  What if we can't afford it?  What if it is boring?  Even if the answers to those questions were "No!", "You will!", "You can't!" and "It will be!" right now today as I ask them, you never know what that month will bring and what the silver lining will be if it does end up being less than you expected.

That being said, I wonder if there are any great ideas looming out there in your heads?  If you were doing your own "Good Luck With That" (And why not?  You totally could), what things would you choose?  Leave your thoughts in the comments below.  Just click where it says 0 comments, or 1 comment, or 7 comments and a window will pop up for you to share your thoughts.  You can even do it anonymously if you prefer.  Or let us know on our Facebook page.

I also want to share some thoughts I have been having about the b log in general.  Even though this blog started as a way to find a "passion", I feel it has evolved into something else.  Instead of finding one singular passion, it has become more about always trying new things in life.  Keeping ourselves open to new and unexpected experiences.  Once you are open to new experiences, many more can find their way into your life.

It's like in savasana.  When you are quiet and ready to receive, the Universe can bring you its infinite wisdom.  If you always have everything already figured out, why would the Universe bring you any divine wisdom?  I, myself, want to stay open to unending possibilities in my life.  Putting ourselves out there to try all these new things brings us new connections, new lessons, new understandings about ourselves, humanity and life.  And so much more.

I look forward to hearing your ideas!  And nervously await finding out what Amy is picking.  Please NOT SKYDIVING!!!!!  That's all I ask.

-Melissa

Me and Nadia Comaneci

Posted by Amy Baranski

Doodle by Amy Baranski.

Ever since I was 12 I've dreamt of becoming an Olympic athlete. During my last 30 day Bikram yoga challenge, amid the growing chaos of my unchored home and the mounting haystack of emails, voice mails, and text messages, I became Nadia Comaneci.

The precise moment I stepped into the heated and muggy studio everything in my real life melted away. The saga of my perfect ten played out during the 90 minute class. At times you could hear a pin drop in the gymnasium. The crowed held its breath as I took the floor.

I vaulted, tumbled, balanced the beam, and whipped my body around the uneven bars. But, mostly I practiced, tucked away in a small warm gym somewhere in the Romanian countryside. Everyone else in the studio was training too. The difference was that I was Nadia Comaneci, and everything I did was for the Olympics.

Bones to Skin Mega Constellation

Posted by Amy Baranski
The past few weeks have proven particularly challenging. A gradual and persistent cold stealthily unloaded all its home furnishings from a microscopic U-haul truck and redecorated my sinuses. I'm all for new neighbors but this one keeps me up at night and in the early morning. Banging on the walls to tell them to turn down their raging party has had little to no effect. In return, there were several days that I thought about throwing in the towel on the March 30 day yoga challenge.

Doodle by Amy Baranski.

It was just in January that I completed a 30 day challenge with Melissa. And in February I think I put in a good solid 20 days. So I deserve a break and besides maybe my body was telling me to slow the fuck down. And so on day 22 I moped about pretty much deciding to call it off. I mentioned the decision to Melissa who simply replied: you are? About an hour later I was packing up my yoga stuff and heading out to the Sweatbox.

What happened was a series of visualizations and one realization.

Visualization #1: Day 30 - there's palpable excitement in the air. The teacher congratulates everyone who completed the 30 day challenge. There may be "goodies" in the studio. People clap and smile. I'm lying on my stomach in Savasana feeling like I don't deserve a pat on the back for participating. A single tear drops from the corner of my eye.

Visualization #2: Day 30 - after class I go to the big chart on the wall where we track our progress by awarding ourselves stars for each day we've completed. I look at the chart and the overwhelming number of stars it contains. I see a black-hole in this bones to skin mega-constellation. The black-hole sucks me into its disappointing depths. I try to cough up the hard and painful golf ball in my throat.

Visualization #3: Day 30 - I run into Melissa who's completed the 30 day challenge. She's ready to go out and celebrate. We go to Big Mario's for a slice and a pint. We toast. She says congratulations. I smirk and say I don't deserve it. I sit hunched over in the booth eating my pizza unsatisfied.

Ultimately finding little to no merit in this daydreams I decided they were unwarranted, uneeded, and competitive thoughts. I decided not to go to yoga and perpetuate some kind of competitive mind-fuck I was (now conciously) putting myself through. This felt like a real grown up decision, rational and self-loving.

After more consideration I thought, if I'm not doing the 30 day challenge "to win" then why did I really start it in the first place? I realized that for me, the purpose of the 30 day challenge has been about establishing a dedicated practice of yoga. Going 30 days in a row teaches my mind and my body to make room and space for yoga, no matter how late my neighbors keep me up at night. It forces me to not give up on this, like I have on so many other physical pursuits. It teaches my muscles to move every day and never let go of loving my body and my health. So I gathered my mat, towel, and water bottle and went. And I keep going and I will keep going and going.

I love you. You're stupid. Just kidding!

Looking down from Cape Flattery. Photo by Amy Baranski.

Yesterday during Savasana after Ustrasana (camel pose) my yoga teacher talked about how we might feel. When we first started our practice, she explained, "overwhelmed" is the label we may have assigned to that wave of feeling rushing throughout our joints and mind as we quickly transitioned from our knees to our backs and into Savasana.

Camel pose is the deepest backbend of the Bikram series and at times reminds me of standing on a ledge--a soaring seacliff above craggy rocks looking down on a tangly kelp forrest tipping out from the surf. 

Just the other day Bob asked:

The Sum of All Things

Hi there,

Yesterday marked the finale of the 30 day Bikram Yoga challenge with Melissa--and some other endings and beginnings that Melissa shared over here. I can't wait to read her Readers Write submission to The Sun magazine. Congratulations Melissa, on a year well spent, and thanks again for bringing me on for the 2011 adventure. Also super thanks to all the encouragement from everyone and Jaime and Bob for the rides to and from class during those super cold and wet days.

Meditation Month


I'm on the right.

As readers who follow this blog may recall January was meditation month, and as you can easily tell it was really more about the yoga for me. Does that make it a moving meditation? I really tried, and while I intend to finish my reading materials I just couldn't sink my teeth into it the way I thought I could. Part of the challenge was balancing everything else that's going on in my life. Meditation kept looking like an escape hatch or a total disconnect from everything I was supposed to be doing. Which probably is an indicator that I need to practice it more. Or maybe not. In any case, why does something like meditation--or even yoga for that matter--seem like a luxury?

 

I can say that with the theme of this month as meditation, complemented by the yoga practice, I have experienced and increased sense of focus and intention in every day behaviors. I immediately feel more focused in a period of time and more giving of myself to the task at hand--whether that be washing dishes, folding laundry, writing a blog post, doing my day-job work. I've just been more...here.


30 Day Yoga Challenge  



What the sign says.

This past weekend took me to Portland for a birthday party so I had to find a Bikram-certified yoga studio to complete days 28 and 29. I found Bikram Portland on Alberta Street. Practicing away from home in new surroundings was at first scary but a great experience that in a way brought me back to the very beginning of my 30 days--just listening and adjusting to a new environment. I don't know that I could have had any better classes. Of course day 30 I spent most of the time lolling about on the floor in Savasana wishing I could leave much like my very first class. It's funny how when you build up a climax in your mind and then you get there and it happens to be just like any other day.  

I've been asked by a few people what I think of this practice and if I've received any noticeable benefits. So here's a quick (very quick) summary of what's happened to me:

10 body improvements from 30-day Bikram yoga challenge:

1. Slimmer waistline, calves, quads; overall improved definition in the legs and arms
2. Ability to stand and touch my toes (something I haven't done in over 15 years)
3. Ability to sit and extend my legs, lock my knees lift my heels off the ground while touching my toes
4. Deeper breathing when outside of class; improved ability to stay relaxed during stressful situations
5. Increased stamina for standing on one leg while engaging the quadriceps
6. More conscious engagement of my abs outside of class, especially when bending over
7. Greater water intake has led to increased alertness and mental agility while outside of class
8. Smoother skin
9. Overall more moderated appetite
10. Deeper sleep

Namaste January.
-Amy

Daily Matins

Dear blog, this month has moved quickly. Days have been full. The moon was full. And yes I fell behind in posting. I promise not to again! To bring you up to speed on my past 11 days of yoga here's a list of high-points, low-points, and points that fell in between:

1. One class, after the heater was fixed, Laura said she didn't want to hear any complaints that the room was too warm because it had been cold all day. It was very hot; skin-hot; sunburn-hot. No one complained.
2. One class sounded like a happy hour before the teacher walked in. Some guy was eating gumdrops from a sandwich baggy and people were laughing and talking in full voice.
3. One class was packed with students. I was delirious at the end and forgot that a girl was six inches from my feet. I grabbed my mat and whipped it back really hard (to pick it up) thereby whipping a student in the face.
4. One class I excused myself to the bathroom during the floor routine (it was very hard to cool down and then warm up again).
5. One class I worked harder then I ever thought I could.The next class seemed easier. (Did the day before pay off?)
6. One class I started to remember the sequence of the poses.
7. One class a girl moved her towel perpendicular to her mat for triangle pose and the teacher said: "no, no, no we're going to build your leg strength."
8. One class Gary showed me how to grasp my toes correct during the sit-up.
9. One class I fell out of standing bow pose about every two seconds and started laughing to myself.
10. One class I had an Eeyore mentality and gave up on myself.
11. One class I had a great attitude but spent most the time in savasana because my intestines hurt too bad. (That was last class).

Not once during the past 11 days have I thought about not going. In fact, the exact opposite has happened. The daily intentional practice has given something to my life that is hard to put into words at this point. I can just say I'm so thankful to Melissa and Jaime for introducing me to Bikram Yoga through their dedicated practice. Each day has brought a new set of circumstances to discover - just as each day brings us no matter what.

So, today is day 22, and if I could bring anything with me during the next 9 days of class it would be nothing. Or, more aptly put: a willingness to completely let go of all the precious little things I've collected over the past 21 days.

Always,
Amy

Savasana Forever!

The other day in yoga class, our teacher Gary said, "Savasana forever." ironically,  it was during one of the shorter 20 second savasanas between the postures in the floor series.  at the time, i remember thinking...."yes, please, right now....give us a savasana forever.    please.  now."  Which is odd...usually i am more dying for a taste of corpse pose during the standing series, the first part of class.  

So, really what this brings up for me is the sometimes subtle, but mostly glaring mind games i play during yoga class.  and to be honest, all day long before class...and after.  I think around day 8, when i was feeling strong and capable, I was powering through class with gusto and confidence.  Everything about class energized me and each pose I did gave me more energy to go into the next pose.  But mostly when I do in class and before class is have this mental chatter with myself, my silent schizophrenic nature truly comes out during yoga.  Some days I spend the hours before class reassuring my apprehensions about my physical abilities by reiterating in my head how I can just lay in...yes, savasana forever, or at least during the whole class if I wanted.  (So far, I have never done this...but I do feel soothed by the option. Which reminds me of the quote I posted from Pema Chodron the other day)  Then when I get to class, I fidget on my towel and mat until the teacher comes in, too afraid to actually lie in savasana before class, lest I fall asleep and snore and sleep through pranayama breathing.  Then when class starts, I fidget more than ever, trying to get my flipping feet straight on my towel.  i never achieve this simple status, straight feet, all through class.  Once we hit the 6th pose, Balancing Stick, Tuladandasana, my mind chatter softens and I am using every ounce of my energy to simply be in the poses and breathe slowly, in and out through my nose.  And then...that sweet, yet taunting, savasana.  I love it.  But along with it comes that mind chatter again, loud and clear.  I remind myself of what poses I can sit out of in the rest of the series.  And so it continues through the remainder of class.  Even on the days when I do every posture, I still toy with the idea of when and where I will take it easy...busily planning the last 30 minutes of class.

Needless to say, this is not the ideal way to be through a Bikram Yoga class.  And neither is it advised to push yourself to do all the poses because you spot some really skinny mom from your kid's school right behind you and you think you have something to prove.  yea, I know your youngest kid is under one and you are in better shape than most teenagers, but this chunky mama is totally kicking your ass at yoga. so there!  um, yea...NOT ADVISED.

what I am advising myself to do today at class, day 20, is to work more on making this truly a moving meditation and less of a mental mind fuck.  Cause really...that is not getting me anywhere.  and maybe therein lies the question...where i am so busy trying to get to anyway?  Today I will use as much effort during savasana as I do during triangle pose...using my tools from meditating with Pema...reminding myself that I am thinking and bringing myself back to my breath.  Keeping it simple.  If I can master my mind in 105 degrees, slippery with sweat, my muscles trembling...then imagine what I can bring to my life off the yoga mat.

xoxomelissa

The 2 breathing exercises and 26 postures of Bikram Yoga.