Posted by Melissa Baumgart The Drawers Went From This:
To This:
And let's hope they stay this way! I think investing in the containers that connect to each other is a good step in that direction.
What's in store for the next week of Project Simplify? Simple Mom has left it up to me. I get to choose my most needed "hot spot" of mess. It was a tough choice, but I am picking the book shelf in my hallway. It is in an area of my apartment that people don't see, which means it is a place that I shove things when I don't know where else to put them! Time to clean up my hidden spot!
Here's to a week off from school, spent doing water aerobics and cleaning! Oh, and I am revisiting hot yoga this week too. Yikes, I don't know if I am ready for this.
Looking down from Cape Flattery. Photo by Amy Baranski.
Yesterday during Savasana after Ustrasana (camel pose) my yoga teacher talked about how we might feel. When we first started our practice, she explained, "overwhelmed" is the label we may have assigned to that wave of feeling rushing throughout our joints and mind as we quickly transitioned from our knees to our backs and into Savasana.
Camel pose is the deepest backbend of the Bikram series and at times reminds me of standing on a ledge--a soaring seacliff above craggy rocks looking down on a tangly kelp forrest tipping out from the surf.
To let the curious know - we have continued on with Bikram yoga! We are doing 5-6 days out of the week, more like 6. March 1 will mark the beginning of the Sweatbox's 30-Day Challenge (ours in January was self-imposed). From their website:
It's that time again of the year again - time for the 30-Day Challenge! We begin March 1st.
Let's remember all of the reasons why we practice: we feel clearer and happier; our bodies are healthier and more efficient; we behave more kindly to our family and friends; we are better parents. The 30-Day challenge is the single best opportunity to get yourself back into a dedicated practice regimen.
Try the challenge. Do your best to do it. Put yourself first for 30 days of your life. Once you do, you'll be hooked.
Sign up people! You won't regret it."
Developing a Bikram practice has helped me gain strength and stamina--it might do the same for you!
I started my new life as a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom. I have found that these acronyms are quite popular on-line in chat rooms or places where moms go for advice. DH - dear husband, and others are out there, seemingly just to annoy me.) Actually, I have not yet decided whether I am assuming the title of Stay-at-Home-Mom or unemployed mom. Tallulah told our friend yesterday that I don't work anymore because I am "disabled." Tallulah is 5. "My mom doesn't go to work anymore, because at her job, they, um...she is, uh, disabled. So she doesn't go there anymore, she stays home with me."
Today was day two without a new label, or cool acronym for myself...and apparently, according to my youngest daughter, disabled. I did not make it to yoga, and was hugely disappointed about that. I really tried. I got home from Levi's classroom and after making a long overdue call to a friend, while I packed my yoga stuff up, I had 30 seconds to decide if I could walk to the Sweatbox fast enough. And not only that, could I also get everything else I needed to get done finished after yoga and before I had to get the kids from school? I decided no. So, I sadly put my yoga bag down and went to the computer to finish the financial aid form for Lily's private middle school she dearly wants to go to. (We go to an interview tomorrow!) It's funny how I could make it every singe day for 30 days, and then as soon as it was not the priority, it easily can seem impossible to make it there. Or easily seems possible to not make it there. Very different perspectives with the same outcome.
Plus I have this new month to tackle. And what a month it is! Why did I pick business plan??? Researching isn't so bad, but there are aspects that I guess I knew were there...but always ignore. And these have come up in just the first few days, I wonder what other surprises will be in store for this naive business lady? My plan was to honestly write everything about my journey as being a total novice to starting a business. And while I will still do that, it will look perhaps a little different than I had first thought.
I didn't know that it might not be a good idea to tell everything about the business as we blog. I didn't think that anyone would possibly be out there scouting for ideas and steal ours. I know I have an idealistic nature, and an aversion to the harsh business world as I think it is. Sometimes I think it is that belief system that has kept me from my own success. Maybe I think to be successful you have to play by "their rules" and I don't believe in their rules. So, this will be interesting, to see how I can come to terms with that. Do I play the game? Do I write my own rules and assume if I follow my heart and passion it will all work out as it should?
As of now, I will heed the friend's advice and not give too many details to the business. We'll come up with some code words to disguise our master plan. For now we have an "idea" and I found this website from the Small Business Administration to get a template and ideas for what we need to think about and get on paper. I thought this seemed like a reputable place to start. There are so so may websites out there for this kind of thing, and as newbie, you just don't know who to trust.
You know, I kind of have a lot at stake here. If this is something that takes off, the timing couldn't be better. This month I have the time to put toward this and the motivation to make something happen. I am tired of working for someone else and working hard to make more money to may for their life. I am tired to not feeling inspired by my work and having that translate into lower and lower self esteem. I am in a place in my life, since starting this blog, of growing and becoming stronger, and I am ready for that to translate into my career.
And, Happy New Moon, and Happy Year of the Rabbit!
Lily's art work, age 7
“Let there be peace -- and let it begin with me” is the Rabbit motto. The Tiger makes waves, but the Rabbit mends fences. Diplomacy reigns. If you want to improve your chances of success, negotiate and cooperate rather than force your ideas on others. It’s also a time to kiss and make up. Forgive and forget. Let’s all get along. Make love not war. If last year the emphasis was on excitement, it’s now is on harmony. -from Astrology.com
So...negotiate and cooperate to improve my chances of success. Looks like it goes well with my Moon in Libra. Enough said. Done and Done. I am always open to listening to the signs.
and for now the signs and the clock and my eyes are saying...good night. xoxomelissa
A whole year has passed since Dina and I started this blogging adventure together. I can remember looking ahead to the coming year back then, with such excitement for each new thing I was going to totally immerse myself into. My plan, as I recall, was to do whatever new thing that month brought every day of that month. And if I couldn't make that happen, I would read about that thing or learn about it in some manner. Some months I lived up to that expectation...I remember during "growing our own food month" I read a Michael Pollan book and watched a few movies on that state of our agriculture system here in the US and found it all to be very inspiring. And i felt like i used my time wisely considering after I planted my seeds, there wasn't a whole lot to "do" for a bit...besides chasing away big dogs and their big fat paws from my little plant babies. During "painting month" and "learning the Beyonce dance month" I found a way to do those things most days, and found it even easier to feel guilty about not doing them on the days I didn't make them a priority.
"Sewing ourselves a dress month" nearly brought me to a murderous state...what with all the tension and agro-ness toward sewing, and the big scissors in my hands. I totally hate sewing, as I do most crafty endeavours; and I knew that going into it and often found myself with fabric and thin pattern paper everywhere wondering...why in the fuck did I pick this? But I have to say, I am so proud to have finished that mini dress. Every time I wear it I find a way to let someone know...."I made this!" Would I do it again? Maybe. And yes, I am a bit crazy. Then there was "writing month", remember that? Of course not! I didn't write a goddamn thing. That was a shocker, I thought I loved writing. I even, at one point in college, thought it could be one of my hidden talents. Turns out, the blank piece of paper won again. Almost. I did finish that readers write submission! The other total flop of the list had to be "salsa dancing month." It started out fine, going dancing for Jamie's birthday....and then never again. Sometimes life and the priorities it sets right in front of you take center stage, not the dance floor.
By far, clearly, my favorite was "yoga month." I had no idea it would sweep me off my feet the way it did. and even more of a shocker was that it would be Bikram Yoga that I fell for. I gave everything I had to that practice and I am sure you know, dedicated another whole month to this moving meditation...completing a 30 day challenge. Other months that I liked included drumming, the vegan diet, and the make-up-your-own-month where I did a simplifying of my stuff, a major purging.
I am so, so grateful that I took on this year of trying new things. I learned so much about myself and life and people. I gained a self confidence I never had before. I have a stronger foundation from which I can stand and greet the world in a new and more diverse way. And I am looking forward to a year of new activities, new lessons, new challenges, and new triumphs. I wonder if I am still looking for a passion? Or am I finding a way to stay youthful and maintain some sort of mental flexibility, and physical too in some cases. I love that this helps me be open to trying new things...those of my own imagination and dreams and those of someone else's. You never know what someone else is going to put on that list.
Amy and I revealed our new lists last night at a dinner to celebrate finishing the 30 days of yoga (which was much harder and less euphoric than I had created it to be in my mind all month.) I think both of us would have rather been soaking in a hot bath tub or snuggled in a warm blanket on our couches, but in the end we had a great time. It was so fun to pick each folded piece of paper and unfold it not knowing what was written inside, and then share our thoughts and ideas and research we had done for each topic.
So....we will reveal the list tomorrow, with a new look and feel to the blog.
xoxomelissa
PS...and now, I leave you with my submission to the Sun magazine:
Readers Write Submission
Paying Attention
For the past month I have been practicing yoga every day. Every day I spend 90 minutes in a room heated to 105 degrees, working my body into 26 different postures and sweating. When I set out on this challenge, I assumed that the physical aspect would give me the most trouble. And while it has at times, what I am discovering is that the mental component can prove to be much more of a struggle…but with exponential benefits.
The unspoken question arises moment-to-moment….what am I going to pay attention to? Am I going to mentally jump ahead and worry about what postures are coming next, and what postures I can weasel my way out of without too much self-deprecation to follow? Am I going to pay attention to my trembling muscles moving and holding the poses, the teacher’s calm voice guiding me through each posture? Or am I going to be in each moment, totally present, only paying attention to my breath coming in and my breath going out?
The times where I am paying attention to my breath and not the mental chatter are fleeting, but blissful. I get to that place by being a beginner again, and not anticipating, not reviewing…just following instructions. It seems to me that being in that state is a sort of “not paying attention” to anything. Those few moments when the mind is clear are elusive and beautiful, and can disappear as soon as you start paying attention to them.
We can spend all the minutes of our day paying attention to the details of life…getting the dishes clean, making sure all the bills are paid, folding the laundry, feeding the kids, answering the phone, the list goes one and on. I feel unending gratitude for those brief moments where my mind is free to not pay attention to anything, to just be and not attach to any thoughts, watching them float by like clouds on the sky.
Yesterday marked the finale of the 30 day Bikram Yoga challenge with Melissa--and some other endings and beginnings that Melissa shared over here. I can't wait to read her Readers Write submission to The Sun magazine. Congratulations Melissa, on a year well spent, and thanks again for bringing me on for the 2011 adventure. Also super thanks to all the encouragement from everyone and Jaime and Bob for the rides to and from class during those super cold and wet days.
Meditation Month
I'm on the right.
As readers who follow this blog may recall January was meditation month, and as you can easily tell it was really more about the yoga for me. Does that make it a moving meditation? I really tried, and while I intend to finish my reading materials I just couldn't sink my teeth into it the way I thought I could. Part of the challenge was balancing everything else that's going on in my life. Meditation kept looking like an escape hatch or a total disconnect from everything I was supposed to be doing. Which probably is an indicator that I need to practice it more. Or maybe not. In any case, why does something like meditation--or even yoga for that matter--seem like a luxury?
I can say that with the theme of this month as meditation, complemented by the yoga practice, I have experienced and increased sense of focus and intention in every day behaviors. I immediately feel more focused in a period of time and more giving of myself to the task at hand--whether that be washing dishes, folding laundry, writing a blog post, doing my day-job work. I've just been more...here.
30 Day Yoga Challenge
What the sign says.
This past weekend took me to Portland for a birthday party so I had to find a Bikram-certified yoga studio to complete days 28 and 29. I found Bikram Portland on Alberta Street. Practicing away from home in new surroundings was at first scary but a great experience that in a way brought me back to the very beginning of my 30 days--just listening and adjusting to a new environment. I don't know that I could have had any better classes. Of course day 30 I spent most of the time lolling about on the floor in Savasana wishing I could leave much like my very first class. It's funny how when you build up a climax in your mind and then you get there and it happens to be just like any other day.
I've been asked by a few people what I think of this practice and if I've received any noticeable benefits. So here's a quick (very quick) summary of what's happened to me:
10 body improvements from 30-day Bikram yoga challenge:
Slimmer waistline, calves, quads; overall improved definition in the legs and arms
Ability to stand and touch my toes (something I haven't done in over 15 years)
Ability to sit and extend my legs, lock my knees lift my heels off the ground while touching my toes
Deeper breathing when outside of class; improved ability to stay relaxed during stressful situations
Increased stamina for standing on one leg while engaging the quadriceps
More conscious engagement of my abs outside of class, especially when bending over
Greater water intake has led to increased alertness and mental agility while outside of class
Today (January 28th) is day 27 of the 30 day yoga challenge. I am new to Bikram yoga, prior to this 30 day challenge I had two classes at the Sweatbox. The first class was with Gary and I spent the majority of the time believing that the lights he kept turning on and up were heat lamps. I really thought that in my mind and heart. Melissa let me know later that the heat actually came from a heat blower and not the lights. I felt like food under a heat lamp.
I wanted to leave so badly, and thought the session would never end. I had not had nearly enough water that my body required (which I've since learned is close to a gallon). I also came smeared in lotion which melted all over my limbs which was gross and funny - and if you've ever done hot yoga with lotion on you know what I'm talking about.
Then came the holidays which were just fantastically filled with elastic waistlines and my favorite billowy Ikat-print knit shirt.
And now here we are 27 days later with so many changes. This weekend I am heading to Portland. I've already scouted out the Portland Bikram-certified studio that I will practice at. I've called in advance to ensure their classes are happening, and I've printed out my registration form. Days 28 and 29 will be spent at a different studio, which should be interesting. I will make sure to file a report. Bikram Yoga is akin to the Latin-style Mass, Pre-Vatican II--not matter where you go it's always in the same script and follows the same form.
i went from doing every pose, keeping good form...well, as best as I can at this point in my practice and feeling strong and aligned with my new mantra..."I am a good student." I fell asleep that night with that sentence swirling in my head, ever empty moment between what i had to do the next day and thoughts about what I might have on my new list for the blog...like the mortar between my busy thoughts was "I am a good student." Something about that statement is so satisfying to me, so simple, so comforting. All you have to do is follow instructions well and it is true.
i woke up the next day and my body ached. I was exhausted. I didn't do every pose, not even close. and what's worse, I didn't care. I didn't care if i was a good student. what? it's true, i just laid there in pure bliss to be resting in a hot room melting into the floor. The only annoyance was the teacher's voice coaching the other students to go deeper, push harder into each pose. it seemed so loud and intrusive. i was certainly not following instructions...not well, not at all.
That night, I came home and i went straight to bed. still achy. still bitter. but happy to feel my body on my bed. during the night, my body released sweat like I was still on my mat in the 105 degree yoga studio. I awoke in the middle of the night with my whole shirt drenched, my blankets wet from contact with me. I was too tired to care. I didn't get up and change, I just drifted off back to my damp sleep. In the morning I felt achy again and so slow. I thought maybe I was getting sick. Could I make it to yoga? I walked home from my kid's school where I spent the morning volunteering, which got my mind off of myself and gave me the glimpse of hope that I could get through the day. I was so sad too...on the verge of tears, constantly and for no reason. I went to yoga at noon, just because of the 30 day challenge, not because I wanted to. I was prepared to greet myself however I showed up that day...good student or bad. I was too tired and too sad to care.
It was one of the hottest classes I have had in a while. When the poses came where we had to stand on the red carpet, the carpet was hot beneath the soles of my feet. When I laid my body down into savasana to rest, my mat and towel were hot to the touch. I did rest more than usual that day, but you know what? so did some of my teachers that were practicing that day. what a comfort. we all need to rest sometimes...maybe there are no bad students. (ok, I still have a hard time with that, cause sometimes people talk during class and that just is NOT cool.) You just never know where people are, or where you may be mentally and physically every day you step onto your yoga mat.
I chatted with one of my teachers after class that day and he asked me how many days I had left of the challenge. I shared my experience with feeling like I was getting sick and sweating in my sleep and he said it was because my metabolism was increasing and that I should eat a lot of food. super! I LOVE food. If you have been reading for a while, you may remember my revelation about being the person that loves food the most on earth. yeah. I ate a ton of food last night. I don't know if a burger and fries were what he had in mind...but they were soooo good. I love the burgers and fries at Smith.
so, being the good student that i am, i heeded my sage teacher's advice. I ate the whole god-damn thing. and you know what? I feel so much better today. My body is still a little sore. but I went to class this morning (day 27!!!) and it was just a regular ole class. not good, not bad.
where do these labels we give to ourselves, to our practice, to our relationships, to our jobs...where do they get us? Do we really need things to fit into labels; good and bad. Will meditation help to lessen the burden of these small words. Is it possible to raise my children in a climate that doesn't reinforce the culture of good and bad that I feel I was raised in? what life experiences push us into longing to be the good student, or giving up and reveling in the bad student role? How do we get to be truly just as we are.
Yesterday marked day 10 of my 30-day Bikram yoga challenge. The room swelled with heat. It felt hot like it had never been hotter before, and I knew this practice would push me deeper into each pose. I felt vital—uncompromised. I scored a position in the back, a new perspective from my usual spot (second row East side of the room). Compassion filled my my heart and pumped through my blood. When class began I filled my lungs past 6 seconds. Their capacity was the largest in Seattle. I inhaled every bit of oxygen in the room. My mind expanded into its own universe. Everything melted away, my elbows extended to the sky. The ceiling disappeared. They stretched so high into the atmosphere they weren’t elbows anymore. They were Everests. I exhaled and hung my head all the way back until I could see my own dry heels—mere foothills of my true height. I deeply exhaled exaggerating my mouth and pushing in my stomach to release the stale air burrowed in my chest. I was me. I wasn’t me. The neutral expression on my face slowly revealed the upturned corners of my mouth into a faint smile of joy!
At least that’s how I imagined it until some yogini-girl readjusted her mat, completely blocking my view.
