A Bird from the Hand

original Sharpie drawing by Melissa

A list of things I am learning today:

• That evidently different people's computers give them different Google results.  When I stated the other day that if you search "good luck with that" on Google we come up third on the list, I thought that would be the case across the board, on everyone's computer, or chosen browser.  Not the case.  I have been told we don't even come up on the first page on other people search, in the same search engine.  What is up with that?
• When you sit around the house most of the day with a sick kid, there isn't as much exciting stuff to write about...which leads to more of a list, rather than paragraphs and whole thoughts that actually work together.
• For the last five hours I have been looking forward to a reality TV show.  Does that make me pathetic?  Or oddly patriotic?
• I saw a commercial for Miracle Whip.  Are you kidding me?  Miracle Whip is like mayonnaise's ugly stepchild.  (what kind of awful euphemism is that??? but I still used it.)  I hate Miracle Whip, and if it was my stepchild, I wouldn't even feign liking it.
• Uranus (insert juvenile laughter) is in Libra in the 8th house in my chart, and Saturn in Libra is transiting at the same degree.  An enthusiastic and talented astrologer I know texted me to say "you better get ready cause you are going to  have some changes, decisions will be made and things will be uprooted."  Super exciting, and I know I am growing because I  used to get all wrapped up in the fire and brimstone of it all...and now I am excited to see what grows where something I don't need anymore is uprooted.  I am more interested in the phoenix rising from the ashes than the fire that creates the ash.
• I love this blog.  I got out a book from the library today about blogs and I loved reading that too, and I don't like many books.  I went from being embarrassed to tell anyone that I had a blog, like I was jumping on some lame bandwagon that was already overflowing with the dredges of humanity.  To handing our cards to everyone, still blushing a little, but ready to own it more and more.
• I forgot how much I like to draw, and I was thinking back to painting month...the very first blog month for me as I was standing in front of my Peacock Feather painting in my hallway...I decided to do a little drawing.  Ravens or crows have been on my mind lately, they seem to be everywhere.  Watching, eyeing me up, sensing my internal nervous thought that one will dive down and peck me on my head...which makes me think that it will happen even more cause they can sense that shit.  I often think of their wings, the shape and the way their feathers must feel...stiff and yet, soft.  Mind you, I would never touch one of their wings, cause either they would never be that close to me alive and if they were dead then that would be gross and some voice inside tells me, ashamedly, that I would get some disease.  I also am fond of the Moon, always.  The picture above is what I was up to for the last hour.              
• I am leaning more toward the nursing today.

• Getting into the numbers part of a business plan is still the hardest, and I don't know if that will ever change.
• Always, Always, Always save your stuff as you go...or you'll lose it.  

Sincerely,

Melissa

SAHMWKIS (stay-at-home-mom-with-kids-in-school)

I started my new life as a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom. I have found that these acronyms are quite popular on-line in chat rooms or places where moms go for advice. DH - dear husband, and others are out there, seemingly just to annoy me.) Actually, I have not yet decided whether I am assuming the title of Stay-at-Home-Mom or unemployed mom.  Tallulah told our friend yesterday that I don't work anymore because I am "disabled."  Tallulah is 5.  "My mom doesn't go to work anymore, because at her job, they, um...she is, uh, disabled.  So she doesn't go there anymore, she stays home with me."

Today was day two without a new label, or cool acronym for myself...and apparently, according to my youngest daughter, disabled.  I did not make it to yoga, and was hugely disappointed about that. I really tried.  I got home from Levi's classroom and after making a long overdue call to a friend, while I packed my yoga stuff up, I had 30 seconds to decide if I could walk to the Sweatbox fast enough.  And not only that, could I also get everything else I needed to get done finished after yoga and before I had to get the kids from school? I decided no.  So, I sadly put my yoga bag down and went to the computer to finish the financial aid form for Lily's private middle school she dearly wants to go to. (We go to an interview tomorrow!)  It's funny how I could make it every singe day for 30 days, and then as soon as it was not the priority, it easily can seem impossible to make it there. Or easily seems possible to not make it there.   Very different perspectives with the same outcome.

Plus I have this new month to tackle.  And what a month it is!  Why did I pick business plan??? Researching isn't so bad, but there are aspects that I guess I knew were there...but always ignore.  And these have come up in just the first few days, I wonder what other surprises will be in store for this naive business lady?  My plan was to honestly write everything about my journey as being a total novice to starting a business.   And while I will still do that, it will look perhaps a little different than I had first thought.

I didn't know that it might not be a good idea to tell everything about the business as we blog.  I didn't think that anyone would possibly be out there scouting for ideas and steal ours.   I know I have an idealistic nature, and an aversion to the harsh business world as I think it is.  Sometimes I think it is that belief system that has kept me from my own success.  Maybe I think to be successful you have to play by "their rules" and I don't believe in their rules.  So, this will be interesting, to see how I can come to terms with that.  Do I play the game?   Do I write my own rules and assume if I follow my heart and passion it will all work out as it should?

As of now, I will heed the friend's advice and not give too many details to the business. We'll come up with some code words to disguise our master plan.  For now we have an "idea" and I found this website from the Small Business Administration to get a template and ideas for what we need to think about and get on paper.  I thought this seemed like a reputable place to start.  There are so so may websites out there for this kind of thing, and as  newbie, you just don't know who to trust.

You know, I kind of have a lot at stake here.  If this is something that takes off, the timing couldn't be better.  This month I have the time to put toward this and the motivation to make something happen.  I am tired of working for someone else and working hard to make more money to may for their life.  I am tired to not feeling inspired by my work and having that translate into lower and lower self esteem.  I am in a place in my life, since starting this blog, of growing and becoming stronger, and I am ready for that to translate into my career.

And, Happy New Moon, and Happy Year of the Rabbit!

Lily's art work, age 7

“Let there be peace -- and let it begin with me” is the Rabbit motto. The Tiger makes waves, but the Rabbit mends fences. Diplomacy reigns. If you want to improve your chances of success, negotiate and cooperate rather than force your ideas on others. It’s also a time to kiss and make up. Forgive and forget. Let’s all get along. Make love not war. If last year the emphasis was on excitement, it’s now is on harmony.  -from Astrology.com



So...negotiate and cooperate to improve my chances of success.  Looks like it goes well with my Moon in Libra.  Enough said.  Done and Done.  I am always open to listening to the signs.


and for now the signs and the clock and my eyes are saying...good night.
xoxomelissa