Wednesday, June 5, 2013

I can't go for a run!

Posted by Melissa Baumgart
Album of choice on my run.

I think it had been at least a month since I last ran, maybe longer.  The last time I ran, I had just gotten over being sick and instead of energizing me like I expect a run to do, it laid me out.  I could not get off the couch for 2 hours.  Honestly.  Then, I made up a story about how I must have adrenal fatigue, and I stopped running.

It's June.  I signed up for a 5K that is this coming weekend.  I kept telling myself that even if I didn't do anything, I could still get out there and run a 5K.  True?  Maybe.

Yesterday, on the way home from a long clinic day, I saw many people running.  At one point I was on the phone with Jamie, and I saw at least 8 people at once, all running across the same intersection near Volunteer Park.  Runners were coming at me from every which way.  Before I realized the consequence of words, these were coming out of my mouth, "Hey, when I get home, is it OK if I go for a run?"

WTF?  Really?  - Those were my next two thoughts.  And then the litany...I have SO much homework to do.  The house is a mess.  My day was shitty and I need to talk about it.  Felix is pitching.  What Jamie is sharing is really important.  I can't go for a run.  I don't actually say those words, I can't go for a run, but I live them through my actions.

But something kept clicking, no matter how hard I tried to un-click it.  The thoughts of me taking care of myself and me smiling more kept clicking together.  Going on this run was a way of taking care of myself.  Not to mention, a double-check to see if I really can still run a 5K!

When I got home, I started usual patterns of talking with my family, connecting, walking over to the computer, processing our days as a family.  All (mostly) important things.  But I AM IMPORTANT TOO.  (Sorry, I have to shout it, because I have a hard time hearing those words.)  I stopped dead in my tracks and got on my running clothes and shoes and went.

I ran a 5K.  I ran it in 31 minutes and 40 seconds.  My pace was just over 10 min/mile.  It's not under 30 minutes, but that's OK.  I didn't shy away from hills, which is really huge for me. 

The point I need to remember is that I did it.  I made a choice to take care of myself, in the midst of lots of other things being important.  I can only hope it carries me closer to my highest self, whatever that is.

If you want to support the cause (Muscular Dystrophy) I an running for this weekend, check out this link and donate!  (Leave me a comment if it doesn't work!)  Thanks!


Cassandra said...

You go girl! I'm impressed with you getting out there and running that pace. Awesome!! You'll definitely beat me in a race. ;)

Melissa Baumgart said...

Thanks, Cassandra! I am kinda scared that I am going to come in last place this weekend.
Here's to being OK if that happens!

Anonymous said...

While we never know the race we choose or how well we'll do once we get in it, we always regret not having done it. Run, Melissa, run! Dad

Melissa Baumgart said...

Thanks, Dad. I really appreciate those encouraging words!