|Album of choice on my run.|
I think it had been at least a month since I last ran, maybe longer. The last time I ran, I had just gotten over being sick and instead of energizing me like I expect a run to do, it laid me out. I could not get off the couch for 2 hours. Honestly. Then, I made up a story about how I must have adrenal fatigue, and I stopped running.
It's June. I signed up for a 5K that is this coming weekend. I kept telling myself that even if I didn't do anything, I could still get out there and run a 5K. True? Maybe.
Yesterday, on the way home from a long clinic day, I saw many people running. At one point I was on the phone with Jamie, and I saw at least 8 people at once, all running across the same intersection near Volunteer Park. Runners were coming at me from every which way. Before I realized the consequence of words, these were coming out of my mouth, "Hey, when I get home, is it OK if I go for a run?"
WTF? Really? - Those were my next two thoughts. And then the litany...I have SO much homework to do. The house is a mess. My day was shitty and I need to talk about it. Felix is pitching. What Jamie is sharing is really important. I can't go for a run. I don't actually say those words, I can't go for a run, but I live them through my actions.
But something kept clicking, no matter how hard I tried to un-click it. The thoughts of me taking care of myself and me smiling more kept clicking together. Going on this run was a way of taking care of myself. Not to mention, a double-check to see if I really can still run a 5K!
When I got home, I started usual patterns of talking with my family, connecting, walking over to the computer, processing our days as a family. All (mostly) important things. But I AM IMPORTANT TOO. (Sorry, I have to shout it, because I have a hard time hearing those words.) I stopped dead in my tracks and got on my running clothes and shoes and went.
I ran a 5K. I ran it in 31 minutes and 40 seconds. My pace was just over 10 min/mile. It's not under 30 minutes, but that's OK. I didn't shy away from hills, which is really huge for me.
The point I need to remember is that I did it. I made a choice to take care of myself, in the midst of lots of other things being important. I can only hope it carries me closer to my highest self, whatever that is.
If you want to support the cause (Muscular Dystrophy) I an running for this weekend, check out this link and donate! (Leave me a comment if it doesn't work!) Thanks!