You Need to Have an Iron Rear

By Amy Baranski

It’s 20 after noon and I feel like I’ve wasted the morning away though I haven’t really. I fried bacon and eggs, returned the zipcar I borrowed overnight, forced my husband to take photos of my new blogging leaf with his iphone, washed dishes, knocked on the Baumgart’s door about 3 times, blogged once, retrieved a baseball for Levi, lost a game of checkers to Tallulah, and talked to Dad. Yet I feel guiltily unproductive. Now I’m sitting back at my computer working on my second cup of coffee with old photos scattered about and fretting over where I’ve misplaced my keys.

The sun always makes me feel equal parts anxious and lazy. Even though I’m alone for most of the bright beautiful sunshiny day faced with the very indoor task of uncluttering a very indoor home, it’s all good.

With the Stones rendition of Just My Imagination and the glint of the sun in this room my mind has floated back to Lake Shasta where I once spent 2 weeks floating on a houseboat with my newly married sister learning how to kneeboard and inner tube without cracking a rib. There’s nothing quite as thrilling as the rushing water fanning out along your sides as you pull yourself up to kneeling or standing position while the speedboat races along dragging you behind. I like that feeling of speed and struggling to find yourself in it.

Melissa and I figured July would be good for something low key because we were going to be busy with summer vacations etc. But as it turns out April through June dragged me behind them flailing. I somehow emerged from the deepening lake of gardening tasks and an acid work environment. Poetry month may have better been served in April… Bygones.

It’s actually memorize a poem month. And, hopefully it’s more than one.

I’ve always been impressed by people who’ve memorized lyrics, whether it be songs, poems or stories. And, I’ve wanted to try my hand and accumulating a bank of literature that I can call forth as easily and strongly as the memory of say blasting through a warm lake on a hot summer day. I’ve only ever memorized 2 poems, which I can half-heartedly call forth today. One is The New Kid on the Block by Jack Prelutsky. The other is a sonnet by William Shakespeare, When in Disgrace with Fortune and Men’s Eyes.

So I just took the last 5 minutes to memorize a new poem by Jack Prelutsky which I will try to rewrite accurately here:

You Need to Have An Iron Rear

You need to have an iron rear
to sit upon a cactus,
or otherwise, at least a year
of very painful practice.

Yay! I did it. Now let’s see if I can remember it tonight.