Posted by Melissa
It is a rare class for me when I do every pose. Well, it used to be. I have been on a roll lately, doing every posture and not resting during class for 10 days now. It all started last Sunday. I walked into the 8am class, after two really tough days in the studio, and I felt so tired. My teacher, Gary, asked how I was doing. "I'm really tired, " I offered back. Gary smiled a little, leaned back in his chair, and in his super chill way, he said back to me, "That's good. It means you're relaxed."
I nodded, said something back as if I understood what the hell he was talking about, and walked into the studio to find a spot for my mat. As I waited for class to begin, I kept thinking about what he said. What if I just went with it, and pretended it was true? What if I started class thinking I was relaxed instead of tired? And believing it.
I decided to see how it felt to be tired and relaxed instead of my exhausted version of tired. "I'm relaxed," I repeated to myself as my feet fidgeted to find their way comfortably together before the first breathing exercise. I tried to convince myself it was true.
All of a sudden, I forgot how exhausted I thought I was. My muscles stopped feeling like dead weights. I didn't lie down during my usual stopping grounds...standing head to knee, standing bow, triangle, toe stand...the standing series was done. I didn't even rest during salabhasana. I found myself doing the sit up before camel, and I didn't come out of the posture early. Instead of being so tired that I thought I would be in savasana the whole class, I DID the whole class.
And I have done the whole class every day since. It's a personal record for me. And while I know yoga is not about competition, or ego, there is something so nice about going beyond a self-imposed barrier that I never thought I would cross. I share it not to be all..."I'm so awesome", but to remind you that you are so awesome. What kind of barriers have you put up around your practice, around your life? What statements are you carrying around and believing that are changing you not only mentally, but physically as well?
Thanks, Gary, for offering me a new perspective for my practice to grow into.