Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Can we be friends?

Posted by Melissa
"I hate triangle," I muttered after class the other night.  "It's like that irritating person you never want to see, but then there they are, fucking up your whole day."  I had had a kinda tough class that night and clearly needed to vent.

I want to make friends with Trikanasana, triangle pose.  I have lofty goals for this 30 day challenge, like loving myself and gaining self-confidence, but triangle is something tangible that I can dig into and see progress, right?  Yes, I will able able to see physical progress throughout the month if I choose to focus and work on triangle pose.  But, I doubt I would get very far if I don't choose to change my thoughts first. 
Current Trikanasana.  So hard to post this. 
Triangle is the ninth asnana of the 26 posture series created by Birkam Choudhury.  Some days, even before class begins, I know I will sit out at least one set of triangle.  Other days, I have an exhausting half moon series, standing bow gets the best of my mental focus and strength, or I get further than ever in separate leg stretching and it pushed my legs beyond where I thought I could stretch.  If any one of those experiences occur, I decide I just can't do triangle.  I head down to my mat for a savasana.  A savasana that typically is not very restful, since I am thinking about how I am not doing triangle.  Rarely am I not doing triangle because I cannot, it's because I will not. 

There is so much to do during triangle.  Bend my knee down so far that my thigh is parallel to the floor (never happens!), sink my hips, all my weight in my bent leg heel, other knee locked, move only my arms, upper body twisted back, head to my shoulder, profile of my face to the mirror, bottom hand fingers at my big toe (yeah, right), arms straight up and down perpendicular to the floor.  Breathe normally.  Is my weight still in my heel?  Is the posture over yet???? Please say change already.

The only way for me to make friends with triangle pose is to change my mind about it.  Instead of being irritated by that annoying person or a yoga pose, I can choose to focus on myself, and let go of the negative mental chatter.  It might not be easy at first, but the less time I spend looking for negativity, the less likely I will find it.  Then, maybe then, I can start to feel more comfortable physically as well.  I'm pretty sure my teacher Penni is right when she says it's 99% mental and I can trust that my leg will hold me...because it can. 

So, here it goes, throwing all caution to the wind...now it's out there and everyone knows.  If I savasana during triangle for the rest of my 30 day challenge, I better be close to dying.  And you better come over and see if I need CPR or just a "get the fuck up and do triangle" motivational, raised eyebrow kind of look.