I haven't been drinking enough water, I know that. I know I need to drink more. The first couple weeks of my Whole 30 in mid February, I was drinking 3-4 liters a day. The past few days I have been lucky to get in 2 liters. Maybe. I also have not been eating enough. Yesterday, I had two salads and cashews...for me, that isn't enough food, even without doing a 30 day challenge. I have no idea why I am not doing what I need to do to get myself ready for class every day.
Now I am nervous for my 8am class tomorrow. I haven't even finished my 1 liter of water from class this morning! And I have all this mental baggage from two days of classes where I rested more than I like to.
I find this to be one of the toughest parts of the Bikram practice. Being OK with how you show up every day. It's easy on days when you kick ass and rock every pose, sweating your butt off and feeling on top of the world. But it's hard on days where that line between what you can do (so you must!) and what you want to do is very fuzzy. Doing a 30 or 60 day challenge has always brought this issue into focus, more than when I am practicing 3-5 times a week.
I love learning about my edges. I love getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. It's what I have always, always loved about Bikram yoga. It's that kind of mental and emotional strength that you can draw upon outside of the studio. Sure the muscles help, and it's nice to see less pudge around the middle when you look in the mirror, but what I treasure the most is the mental fortitude and self exploration that emerges through my practice of yoga.