Thursday, January 6, 2011

staying on track....

Amazingly enough, I have been keeping on track this month so far.  and i mostly say that in reference to the meditation.  the yoga, as challenging as it can be, i have done before.  well, not 30 days in a row, but close.  the meditation on the other hand, i couldn't even do five minutes a day for a week when a friend of mine suggested we make a pact to do so.  But this week, i have made time to listen to my Pema CD, How to Meditate.

it is lovely to hear her voice and imagine i am in this meditation class with her.  her voice is more real, more human, less Buddhist nun than i imagined.  not that Buddhist nuns aren't human, i just imagine them as so far away from all the hustle and bustle that their voice softens to angelic proportions.  she sounded like the lady next door that maybe more from Boston thirty years ago.  So, i have done that a couple nights and i have meditated when i wake in the morning a couple times.  I stay extra long in savasana after class enjoying the quiet of my mind, my body melting into the floor.  i do find at home i am very distracted when i meditate.  i hear the kids, or i anticipate them barging in...or they actually to and just stand there repeating..."mama, mama....mama, mama...what are you doing?  mama, mama?"  i guess i am cultivating a strong mind....calm in the midst of family chaos.  but then, that is what i need, ultimately.  

and the 30 challenge.  today is day 5.  I plan on going to the AM class since i work in the evening.  Last night's class was super hot in the beginning, but it didn't bother me as much as a really hot class has in the past.  i think going everyday builds stamina, endurance, strength.  well, duh? right.  but man, it did seem to bother others, at least that was my story of what was going on.  one guy actually rolled up his mat and left. Never saw that before.  more people than ever went to the bathroom during class.  one woman even asked the teacher why it was so much hotter than usual, was that just her style?!  i couldn't believe it.  

sleep has been coming very, very early for me every night this week.  and i have been going with that, loving it.  and along with that have come many dreams.  a lot of them are about not making it to yoga, and missing a day.  i went to the 6:15am class the other day and i kept waking up, checking the time, because in my dream, i missed the class and it was the last one of the day and i was devastated that on day 3 my dedication was thwarted.  i just really want to follow through.  and on a side note, i also had a dream about my teeth falling out, this dream has not visited me in quite some time, but it used to often.  and it always feels awful, scary and very real.  and it followed suit this time, as my teeth fell out, one by one, i became increasingly upset.  until i realized, i had new teeth growing in underneath the lost ones.  this had never happened before, and i upon waking i took it as a good omen.  any dream interpreters out there have a clue?  then again, i trust my intuition...good omen indeed.

so, this morning, i blogged instead of meditating.  but after the kids go to school, and after yoga, and before work...I will listen to more of my class with Pema, and drift into my mind.  right on track.  (where does that saying even come from? )


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