Good Luck With That: March 2015

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Don't be a loser

Posted by Melissa
Yesterday was Day 30 of the 30 Day Bikram Yoga challenge. I made it to the 7pm class, and it was a tough one. Right before class, another student was leaving the 5pm class and congratulated me on the challenge. "How was it?" she asked. "Easiest one yet," I replied, feeling excited for class.

Well, that 30th class kicked my butt. I was breathing heavily, contemplated savasana way more than I had recently, and probably let out a few too many sighs. As if my drama could change anything about the class. In fact, it likely only made it that much more of a struggle. The struggle is a choice. It really is. Sometimes that thought feels defeating, but it is actually the most empowering idea. Even if you choose to struggle and be in that drama, it is yours. You choose to be in peace or in struggle, no one makes you. What does Bikram say..."If you let someone steal your peace, then you are the loser." So true.

What I learned in the past month:

I can make it through a Bikram yoga class without giving myself an "out".
At 42, I can be the most fit and the strongest I have been in my entire life.
It really is mostly mental, the physical follows your thoughts.
When I listen to the teacher, really listen and follow the form, it's always easier.
I can hydrate and nourish my active body without sugar, and only whole foods.
I like (love) myself more than I thought I did.
I am way, way stronger than I ever thought. On every level.
I have an amazing community.

I finished out the class and took the longest, most peaceful, final savasana ever. Somehow, lying on my sweat saturated towel was completely satisfying and worth every drop.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

You are full of...LOVE

Posted by Melissa

“Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings.” ~ Rumi - See more at: http://yoganonymous.com/yoga-inspiration-my-25-favorite-yoga-quotes/#sthash.srzpOEM7.dpuf

My last yoga challenge in August/September felt like walking through deep, thick, emotional mud compared to this one. I cried most days, both in the studio and out. I spent several pranayama deep breathing exercises hoping that my tears and trembling bottom lip were hidden by my arms as I pushed my head back as far as it would go until I could see the wall behind me. I rested in savasana instead of triangle pose, vacillating between self hate and deep gratitude. I don't regret a second of how I moved through that challenge. It's all part of my journey, both in the studio and out.

The difference between that challenge and this one is so drastic, that I almost have a hard time accepting it. I'm more comfortable with the other me. I know how to do struggle and upset. In my story of myself, I am good at being cranky and bitter. And I'm exceptionally good at not being good enough. Now here I am 28 days into a 30 day Bikram yoga challenge and I'm not crying every day. I'm not resting in a sweaty puddle of self loathing during triangle pose. I'm standing strong, attempting trikanasana to the best of my body's ability each and every day. I'm meditating everyday. I'm making time to take care of me. I'm creating new stories about myself that are full of power and possibility, both in the studio and out.

Most important of all, and I mean more important than doing any posture during class, or even showing up everyday, is the relationship I have with myself. I thought I wanted to make friends with triangle pose, but really, I wanted to make friends with myself. My kids still tell me that I am cranky, I still have days where I don't feel great or I cry, sometimes I have moments of hating things about my life, or moments of hating triangle pose and the way my body looks in the studio mirror. And then I remember that those feelings will pass. I remember that life isn't always comfortable. I remember that I am still full of love, no matter if I have a "good" class or a "bad" one. A "good" day or a "bad" one.

I feel incredibly grateful for everything that has conspired recently to create the perfect environment for me to make friends with myself. I'd love to encourage you all to take time for yourself everyday, and to appreciate your effort to do so. You are all full of love, both in the studio and out, even when you least feel like you are.

Friday, March 20, 2015

New Moon, New Season, New Choices

Posted by Melissa
Today is a pivotal day. It is the first day of Spring! It also began with a total solar eclipse and a new moon in Pisces, soon after which, the sun moved into the first sign of the zodiac, Aries. It is a great time to be intentional about new choices and releasing old emotional habits and patterns that haven't worked for us. It's time to walk away from opportunities that have not been fruitful. Don't keep trying to walk down that same habitual path hoping to reach the end, it's all an illusion, it was never right for you. If it hasn't worked yet, it's not going to. It's time to make a choice to move on to new opportunities that offer freedom from what has held you back in the past.

Think about these questions...

What are you releasing today?

What are you choosing to create?

I find it exciting to usher in this new burst of celestial energy in the midst of doing this 30 day yoga challenge. My body and mind are flexible and strong, and I feel capable of setting intentions with an unwavering belief that I can see them through. This is what doing yoga can offer you, especially if you continue your yoga practice no matter what. I have spent months not practicing since I started Bikram five years ago, but I always come back. I found creative ways to make my yoga practice a priority. It's not a luxury, it is an essential. Never feel guilty for making time for your overall health and well-being.

I am releasing my insecurity and my dependence on others, emotionally, financially and mentally.

I choose to create a life where I am responsible for my happiness and success. I am full of love, humble confidence and prosperity.

Your turn...

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

It means you're relaxed.

Posted by Melissa
It is a rare class for me when I do every pose. Well, it used to be. I have been on a roll lately, doing every posture and not resting during class for 10 days now. It all started last Sunday. I walked into the 8am class, after two really tough days in the studio, and I felt so tired. My teacher, Gary, asked how I was doing. "I'm really tired, " I offered back. Gary smiled a little, leaned back in his chair, and in his super chill way, he said back to me, "That's good. It means you're relaxed."

I nodded, said something back as if I understood what the hell he was talking about, and walked into the studio to find a spot for my mat. As I waited for class to begin, I kept thinking about what he said. What if I just went with it, and pretended it was true? What if I started class thinking I was relaxed instead of tired? And believing it.

I decided to see how it felt to be tired and relaxed instead of my exhausted version of tired. "I'm relaxed," I repeated to myself as my feet fidgeted to find their way comfortably together before the first breathing exercise. I tried to convince myself it was true.

All of a sudden, I forgot how exhausted I thought I was. My muscles stopped feeling like dead weights. I didn't lie down during my usual stopping grounds...standing head to knee, standing bow, triangle, toe stand...the standing series was done. I didn't even rest during salabhasana. I found myself doing the sit up before camel, and I didn't come out of the posture early. Instead of being so tired that I thought I would be in savasana the whole class, I DID the whole class.

And I have done the whole class every day since. It's a personal record for me. And while I know yoga is not about competition, or ego, there is something so nice about going beyond a self-imposed barrier that I never thought I would cross. I share it not to be all..."I'm so awesome", but to remind you that you are so awesome. What kind of barriers have you put up around your practice, around your life? What statements are you carrying around and believing that are changing you not only mentally, but physically as well?

Thanks, Gary, for offering me a new perspective for my practice to grow into.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Can we be friends?

Posted by Melissa
"I hate triangle," I muttered after class the other night. "It's like that irritating person you never want to see, but then there they are, fucking up your whole day." I had had a kinda tough class that night and clearly needed to vent.

I want to make friends with Trikanasana, triangle pose. I have lofty goals for this 30 day challenge, like loving myself and gaining self-confidence, but triangle is something tangible that I can dig into and see progress, right? Yes, I will able able to see physical progress throughout the month if I choose to focus and work on triangle pose. But, I doubt I would get very far if I don't choose to change my thoughts first.

Current Trikanasana. So hard to post this.

Triangle is the ninth asnana of the 26 posture series created by Birkam Choudhury. Some days, even before class begins, I know I will sit out at least one set of triangle. Other days, I have an exhausting half moon series, standing bow gets the best of my mental focus and strength, or I get further than ever in separate leg stretching and it pushed my legs beyond where I thought I could stretch. If any one of those experiences occur, I decide I just can't do triangle. I head down to my mat for a savasana. A savasana that typically is not very restful, since I am thinking about how I am not doing triangle. Rarely am I not doing triangle because I cannot, it's because I will not.

There is so much to do during triangle. Bend my knee down so far that my thigh is parallel to the floor (never happens!), sink my hips, all my weight in my bent leg heel, other knee locked, move only my arms, upper body twisted back, head to my shoulder, profile of my face to the mirror, bottom hand fingers at my big toe (yeah, right), arms straight up and down perpendicular to the floor. Breathe normally. Is my weight still in my heel? Is the posture over yet???? Please say change already.

The only way for me to make friends with triangle pose is to change my mind about it. Instead of being irritated by that annoying person or a yoga pose, I can choose to focus on myself, and let go of the negative mental chatter. It might not be easy at first, but the less time I spend looking for negativity, the less likely I will find it. Then, maybe then, I can start to feel more comfortable physically as well. I'm pretty sure my teacher Penni is right when she says it's 99% mental and I can trust that my leg will hold me...because it can.

So, here it goes, throwing all caution to the wind...now it's out there and everyone knows. If I savasana during triangle for the rest of my 30 day challenge, I better be close to dying. And you better come over and see if I need CPR or just a "get the fuck up and do triangle" motivational, raised eyebrow kind of look.

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Day 7 - 30 Day Challenge

Posted by Melissa

My 8am class was hard this morning. I stopped at one point during the second set of pranayama deep breathing. That's the first thing we do in class, before the 26 postures even begin. My brain was swimming with thoughts of defeat and rationalizations for my quick fatigue. I didn't feel dizzy, or light headed like I could pass out. No, I just felt really tired. In my muscles kind of tired. Not a sleepy kind of tired.

I haven't been drinking enough water, I know that. I know I need to drink more. The first couple weeks of my Whole 30 in mid February, I was drinking 3-4 liters a day. The past few days I have been lucky to get in 2 liters. Maybe. I also have not been eating enough. Yesterday, I had two salads and cashews...for me, that isn't enough food, even without doing a 30 day challenge. I have no idea why I am not doing what I need to do to get myself ready for class every day.

Now I am nervous for my 8am class tomorrow. I haven't even finished my 1 liter of water from class this morning! And I have all this mental baggage from two days of classes where I rested more than I like to.

I find this to be one of the toughest parts of the Bikram practice. Being OK with how you show up every day. It's easy on days when you kick ass and rock every pose, sweating your butt off and feeling on top of the world. But it's hard on days where that line between what you can do (so you must!) and what you want to do is very fuzzy. Doing a 30 or 60 day challenge has always brought this issue into focus, more than when I am practicing 3-5 times a week.

I love learning about my edges. I love getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. It's what I have always, always loved about Bikram yoga. It's that kind of mental and emotional strength that you can draw upon outside of the studio. Sure the muscles help, and it's nice to see less pudge around the middle when you look in the mirror, but what I treasure the most is the mental fortitude and self exploration that emerges through my practice of yoga.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Pregnant Melinda's 30 Day Challenge

Posted by Melissa
Today was day 4 of the 30 Day Bikram Yoga Challenge and, for me, day 23 of my Whole30 program. Starting my yoga challenge this time feels very different than when I usually do one. Typically, I drink wine and eat junk like there is no tomorrow for at least a week, if not months, before a challenge. This time, I started my 30 days feeling healthy and mentally strong. I showed up to the studio and appreciated my growing muscles and increasing focus during the postures, instead of hating on my body.

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And then we took some photos for the blog. There I was, Pregnant Melinda in full force. All I could see was my protruding belly, my thick middle. It took me some time to handle that awkward reunion with my previous BFF, Miss "You're Never Good Enough", and remind her that it's over. I knew I didn't need her anymore, but her voice is so familiar. I thanked her for her misguided protection she offered for so long. She helped me to not open up and let others in. She shielded me from the dangers of vulnerability. So, I thanked her and bid her farewell.

I think somewhere along the way I decided that if I told myself I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, rich enough...I would match up with what everyone else thought and everything would make sense. No one would want to want to love the real me, and I wouldn't have to risk letting them. Those thoughts only served to hold me back. To cut me off from enjoying life's moments. When we are too busy with our inner chatter, bullying ourselves, we are missing out on the life right in front of us.

Those "too beautiful to bear" moments are becoming easier to just be with and enjoy. I am learning how to be in my body, and enjoy those experiences. To not rush through where I am in my physical experience, so I can get to the part where I have a nice memory to carry around with me. I am growing patient with myself and with life.

This is what I learn in yoga. To not rush through and to be patient. That I am good enough, no matter how I show up on my mat on any given day. As difficult as 90 minutes of Bikram yoga can be day after day after day, it's way easier than the deep inner work that comes bubbling up when I am off my mat. But I am so deeply grateful for it all. It's worth it. Every bit of it.

Monday, March 2, 2015

30 Day Challenge

Posted by Amy & Melissa

Even though we've written about our love of Yoga and Bikram Hatha yoga numerous times on this blog we've never actually selected doing a 30 day challenge as one of our things. So, it's on, people!

Rabbit Pose - Sasangasana

For almost a year now, we've been been Karma cleaning at The Sweatbox, one of our favorite woman-owned businesses in our neighborhood on Capitol Hill. This is the place it all started. Last year we completed a 60 day challenge--something neither of us had done before. It was self-motivated (i.e. not sponsored by the studio). This month we join other 30-day challengers at The Sweatbox.

Locust Pose - Salabhasana

If you can't commit to going to yoga for 30 days in a row, we encourage you to at least give Bikram a try once or twice this month. The more you can make it to class...the better!