Thursday, April 5, 2012

I will fight till forever!

Posted by Melissa Baumgart
(believe it or not, what you are about to read is a true story.)

I will never say never! (I will fight)
I will fight till forever! (make it right)
Whenever you knock me down
I will not stay on the ground
Pick it up
Pick it up
Pick it up,
Pick it up, up, up
And never say never
Photo taken from screen of google image search: justin bieber

Yes, those are Justin Bieber lyrics.  Wait, don't leave, hear me out on this one.  I have these lyrics already in my head space because I have daughters.  Believe me, they are catchy, like when you roll over in the middle of the night to the tune of the worst song on the radio, over and over and over.  And you're thinking, why?  Why in the world would I be singing this song in my sleep?

The thing is, you never know.  When you least suspect it, the insipid lyrics to a Justin Bieber song just might be your saving grace.  For me, I was in despair over my path in life.  I have been trying to become a midwife for so long now and I was finally getting close, yet again.  And then yesterday, the door closed.  The funding I was told I would get for school, after jumping through hoop after hoop to get it, was gone.  Just like that, the money was gone.  

This is the second time since going back to school that this has happened.  The first time, I rolled with it, and waited until the following quarter.  This time, I was prepared to do the same.  "Go with the flow," my friend reminded me, and I thought of water flowing downstream.  "But what if that flow feels like it is dragging you over jagged rocks?" I immediately pondered.

Maybe I am not meant to be a midwife after all?  Perhaps the door is shutting for a reason.  Again.

OR

I can DIY this too!  (This DIY month can really be far reaching) I can keep re-opening that door.  I will get up and keep fighting for what I know to be true.  I will get up and find a way to make this happen, no matter how hard it is, no matter what struggles come my way.  I will get up again and again.  Because when I am out there serving and advocating for women and babies, they are going to need someone that doesn't give up.  

And so, last night, in a moment of mindlessness, I found myself incessantly repeating these lyrics in my head.  At first, as you can imagine, I was annoyed.  And then, it hit me.  I was sending myself a message, subconsciously.  Never say never.  I will fight till forever for my dream, to walk my path toward becoming a midwife.

My message to you, don't give up.  Whatever it is that feels like it's too much to bear, if you know in your heart it is your path, don't give up.  And I also want to share a moment of gratitude for everyone out there bearing whatever it is you are bearing, the world can be a heavy place, but we will get through it.  Feel free to sing along with me as you walk your path.

And you better believe, I'll also be singing these inspiring lyrics when I start my DIYor DIE project this weekend!
-Melissa

2 comments:

amanda said...

I'll Fight the Good Fight with You Melissa! I see you taking these challenges with grace and hope.
~May the universe bring to you what you may need, and may it ask of you to show up where your needed~ You indeed are needed~

Melissa Baumgart said...

Thanks, Amanda. I will continue to show up, even in the face of people telling me I can't. I am really grateful for your support. xo