The Sum of All Things

Hi there,

Yesterday marked the finale of the 30 day Bikram Yoga challenge with Melissa--and some other endings and beginnings that Melissa shared over here. I can't wait to read her Readers Write submission to The Sun magazine. Congratulations Melissa, on a year well spent, and thanks again for bringing me on for the 2011 adventure. Also super thanks to all the encouragement from everyone and Jaime and Bob for the rides to and from class during those super cold and wet days.

Meditation Month


I'm on the right.

As readers who follow this blog may recall January was meditation month, and as you can easily tell it was really more about the yoga for me. Does that make it a moving meditation? I really tried, and while I intend to finish my reading materials I just couldn't sink my teeth into it the way I thought I could. Part of the challenge was balancing everything else that's going on in my life. Meditation kept looking like an escape hatch or a total disconnect from everything I was supposed to be doing. Which probably is an indicator that I need to practice it more. Or maybe not. In any case, why does something like meditation--or even yoga for that matter--seem like a luxury?

 

I can say that with the theme of this month as meditation, complemented by the yoga practice, I have experienced and increased sense of focus and intention in every day behaviors. I immediately feel more focused in a period of time and more giving of myself to the task at hand--whether that be washing dishes, folding laundry, writing a blog post, doing my day-job work. I've just been more...here.


30 Day Yoga Challenge  



What the sign says.

This past weekend took me to Portland for a birthday party so I had to find a Bikram-certified yoga studio to complete days 28 and 29. I found Bikram Portland on Alberta Street. Practicing away from home in new surroundings was at first scary but a great experience that in a way brought me back to the very beginning of my 30 days--just listening and adjusting to a new environment. I don't know that I could have had any better classes. Of course day 30 I spent most of the time lolling about on the floor in Savasana wishing I could leave much like my very first class. It's funny how when you build up a climax in your mind and then you get there and it happens to be just like any other day.  

I've been asked by a few people what I think of this practice and if I've received any noticeable benefits. So here's a quick (very quick) summary of what's happened to me:

10 body improvements from 30-day Bikram yoga challenge:

1. Slimmer waistline, calves, quads; overall improved definition in the legs and arms
2. Ability to stand and touch my toes (something I haven't done in over 15 years)
3. Ability to sit and extend my legs, lock my knees lift my heels off the ground while touching my toes
4. Deeper breathing when outside of class; improved ability to stay relaxed during stressful situations
5. Increased stamina for standing on one leg while engaging the quadriceps
6. More conscious engagement of my abs outside of class, especially when bending over
7. Greater water intake has led to increased alertness and mental agility while outside of class
8. Smoother skin
9. Overall more moderated appetite
10. Deeper sleep

Namaste January.
-Amy

Daily Matins

Dear blog, this month has moved quickly. Days have been full. The moon was full. And yes I fell behind in posting. I promise not to again! To bring you up to speed on my past 11 days of yoga here's a list of high-points, low-points, and points that fell in between:

1. One class, after the heater was fixed, Laura said she didn't want to hear any complaints that the room was too warm because it had been cold all day. It was very hot; skin-hot; sunburn-hot. No one complained.
2. One class sounded like a happy hour before the teacher walked in. Some guy was eating gumdrops from a sandwich baggy and people were laughing and talking in full voice.
3. One class was packed with students. I was delirious at the end and forgot that a girl was six inches from my feet. I grabbed my mat and whipped it back really hard (to pick it up) thereby whipping a student in the face.
4. One class I excused myself to the bathroom during the floor routine (it was very hard to cool down and then warm up again).
5. One class I worked harder then I ever thought I could.The next class seemed easier. (Did the day before pay off?)
6. One class I started to remember the sequence of the poses.
7. One class a girl moved her towel perpendicular to her mat for triangle pose and the teacher said: "no, no, no we're going to build your leg strength."
8. One class Gary showed me how to grasp my toes correct during the sit-up.
9. One class I fell out of standing bow pose about every two seconds and started laughing to myself.
10. One class I had an Eeyore mentality and gave up on myself.
11. One class I had a great attitude but spent most the time in savasana because my intestines hurt too bad. (That was last class).

Not once during the past 11 days have I thought about not going. In fact, the exact opposite has happened. The daily intentional practice has given something to my life that is hard to put into words at this point. I can just say I'm so thankful to Melissa and Jaime for introducing me to Bikram Yoga through their dedicated practice. Each day has brought a new set of circumstances to discover - just as each day brings us no matter what.

So, today is day 22, and if I could bring anything with me during the next 9 days of class it would be nothing. Or, more aptly put: a willingness to completely let go of all the precious little things I've collected over the past 21 days.

Always,
Amy

 

Just a small note today to honor Dr. Martin Luther King who in 1967 wrote a letter nominaing his friend Thich Nhat Hanh for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Chicago: the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr./ (L) with Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk from Vietnam at their news conference here late 5/31/1966. (UPI Photo)



 -Amy

feeling good?

yoga.

Just got back from day 13 of the 30 day challenge.  and i know i am passing judgement here, and setting my expectation on having a "good" experience, but man, today's class was great!  the past two days have been hellish.  i don't know if it was me, or the heat, or my lack of hydration...but something un-nameable was getting the best of me and i was totally struggling through class once again.  in fact, when i showed up today, i was quite nervous...i almost layed down during pranayama breathing, the very first thing we do in class.  my mind was darting everywhere, my feet were fidgeting in the crooked way i hold them together, and my eyes couldn't even see the straight line down the ceiling as i exhaled and looked back...because my mind had taken me far, far away into my fears.  i wasn't in the room.
and yet my body was doing the breathing, my lungs were filling and emptying, and somehow that called my mind back from another land, back into the room, back onto my mat.  half moon pose.  Ardha Chandrasana.  always breathing, slowly, in and out through the nose.  Pada-hastasana.  i went further into this pose than ever before.  and on i went, through every pose...with determination and strength.  sure it was still a challenge to do the poses, but i could breathe and do them, to the best of my ability.

so, day 13 was a good class.  and i especially loved when Meghan, our teacher this morning, shared how being in this heat and in an uncomfortable pose, using your mind strength to bear through it, to breathe through it...no matter how uncomfortable it is...this is one of the gifts we take out into the world.  we take this ability into our everyday lives and we can go through the inevitable uncomfortable situations that life brings, we can stay there and breathe and not run away.  and she shared how this leads to a more joyful life, in her experience.  totally.  and wouldn't you know, as soon as we got home (Jamie went with me today) we had a chance to work through an uncomfortable situation. it was over the fact that we disagreed on who got to use the car.  a simple spat, but one that had the potential to escalate...jamie invited me to stay with it and not run away.  and after a moment of thought, i stayed with it, and we worked it out.  now that is mind strength, cause i totally wanted to run.  avoid.  i actually had already opened the door to just walk away and go to Amy's upstairs.  but i didn't.  thank you, yoga.

meditation.

Yesterday I listened to disc 2 of the Pema Chodron CD How to Meditate, a Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Mind.  i was totally distracted, not to mention exhausted from the torturous yoga right before.  i felt guilty for not cleaning the house, for taking time for myself to go to yoga and then to sit a meditate for an hour.  i heard my phone buzz and it took every ounce of energy i had, not much, to not run and check it.  i was sure it was a dire situation that needed my immediate attention.  yet, i sat.  i have to say, i enjoy reading Pema more than listening and meditating with her.  probably because i can avoid my mind when i read...i get it all filled up with these great ideas and concepts that i don't have to sit and practice.  i get to keep reading, and feeling really great.  my mind is like, oh, yeah...totally Pema, i hear ya.  wow, you're awesome.  i get to not be in my mind.  so, today, even though i do have a ton of shit to do.  it's cooking by the way, one of my favorite things to do, so don't feel bad for me :)  i will take at least 15 minutes and sit.  no matter if i hear "mama mama mama mama MAMA MAMA!" or if i hear the phone buzz.  i can do it.

and I'll leave you with this from Pema's book, The Wisdom of No Escape.  (cause like i said, it feels so good to read, and I challenge you to take this concept into your life just once today.)

"There are two common forms of human neurosis.  One is getting caught up in worry and fear and hope, in wanting and not wanting, and things.  We continually try to get away from the pain by seeking pleasure (samsara), and in doing so, we just keep going around and around.  I'm hot so I open all the windows, and then I'm cold so I out on a sweater.  Then the sweater is itchy so I put some cream on my arms, and then that's sticky so I take a bath.  Then I am cold, so I close the windows, and on and on.

The other neurosis - which is just as common- is to get caught by peace and quiet, or liberation, or freedom.  This is what we all doing a subtle way.  If we have an experience of clarity or bliss, we want to keep it going.  That's what a lot of addiction is about, wanting to feel good forever, but it usually ends up not working out.  Sometimes that's expressed by arranging your life in such a way that it's very quiet, very smooth, very simplified; you become so attached to it that you just want to keep it like that.  You resist and resent any kind of change or noisy situation, messing everything up."

Sounds kinda like my desire for a "good" yoga class.
it is what it is.  keep breathing.
Just as I am.


peace, 
melissa

staying on track....

Amazingly enough, I have been keeping on track this month so far.  and i mostly say that in reference to the meditation.  the yoga, as challenging as it can be, i have done before.  well, not 30 days in a row, but close.  the meditation on the other hand, i couldn't even do five minutes a day for a week when a friend of mine suggested we make a pact to do so.  But this week, i have made time to listen to my Pema CD, How to Meditate.

it is lovely to hear her voice and imagine i am in this meditation class with her.  her voice is more real, more human, less Buddhist nun than i imagined.  not that Buddhist nuns aren't human, i just imagine them as so far away from all the hustle and bustle that their voice softens to angelic proportions.  she sounded like the lady next door that maybe more from Boston thirty years ago.  So, i have done that a couple nights and i have meditated when i wake in the morning a couple times.  I stay extra long in savasana after class enjoying the quiet of my mind, my body melting into the floor.  i do find at home i am very distracted when i meditate.  i hear the kids, or i anticipate them barging in...or they actually to and just stand there repeating..."mama, mama....mama, mama...what are you doing?  mama, mama?"  i guess i am cultivating a strong mind....calm in the midst of family chaos.  but then, that is what i need, ultimately.  

and the 30 challenge.  today is day 5.  I plan on going to the AM class since i work in the evening.  Last night's class was super hot in the beginning, but it didn't bother me as much as a really hot class has in the past.  i think going everyday builds stamina, endurance, strength.  well, duh? right.  but man, it did seem to bother others, at least that was my story of what was going on.  one guy actually rolled up his mat and left. Never saw that before.  more people than ever went to the bathroom during class.  one woman even asked the teacher why it was so much hotter than usual, was that just her style?!  i couldn't believe it.  

sleep has been coming very, very early for me every night this week.  and i have been going with that, loving it.  and along with that have come many dreams.  a lot of them are about not making it to yoga, and missing a day.  i went to the 6:15am class the other day and i kept waking up, checking the time, because in my dream, i missed the class and it was the last one of the day and i was devastated that on day 3 my dedication was thwarted.  i just really want to follow through.  and on a side note, i also had a dream about my teeth falling out, this dream has not visited me in quite some time, but it used to often.  and it always feels awful, scary and very real.  and it followed suit this time, as my teeth fell out, one by one, i became increasingly upset.  until i realized, i had new teeth growing in underneath the lost ones.  this had never happened before, and i upon waking i took it as a good omen.  any dream interpreters out there have a clue?  then again, i trust my intuition...good omen indeed.

so, this morning, i blogged instead of meditating.  but after the kids go to school, and after yoga, and before work...I will listen to more of my class with Pema, and drift into my mind.  right on track.  (where does that saying even come from? )

xoxomelissa