Reading The Awakening

Posted by Melissa Baumgart
I chose a new book.  I am leaving Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy behind for now.  Perhaps I will still finish it, but it might take me a bit more time than a week.  Like when I read All the Pretty Horses.  I thought about giving up on it, since it was taking so long to get through, but I stuck it out and ended up finding so much beauty within those pages.  As for TTSS, I am simply taking a break, coming back later to discover its beauty.

The book I am reading now is The Awakening by Kate Chopin.  It was recommended by GLWT reader and my dear friend, Erin, in her comment when entering our sweepstakes last month.  As I was browsing through the books at the Value Village in Capitol Hill, I happened across the title.  It was a thin book, and so I picked it up.

I read this description on the back of the book:

When first published in 1899, The Awakening shocked readers with its honest treatment of female marital infidelity.  Audiences accustomed to the pieties of late Victorian romantic fiction were taken aback by Chopin's daring portrayal of a woman trapped in a stifling marriage, who seeks and finds passionate physical love outside the straitened confines of her domestic situation.

Aside form its unusually frank treatment of a then-controversial subject, the novel is widely admired today for its literary qualities.  Edmund Wilson characterized it as a work "quite uninhibited and beautifully written, which anticipates D.H. Lawrence in its treatment of infidelity."

Although the theme of marital infidelity no longer shocks, few novels have plumbed the psychology of a woman involved in an illicit relationship with the perception, artistry and honesty that Kate Chopin brought to The Awakening.

Shocking, daring, honest and controversial.  I was won over.  Given the number of pages, 116 compared to the 382 of my last book, and the recommendation as well as the description, how could I not choose this book next?

I have read eleven pages thus far.

What I like: You definitely get a feel for the time and place, the late 1800's and at a summer resort outside of New Orleans.  While current literature and media may throw infidelity at us left and right, numbing our reaction to the plethora of indecencies, reading The Awakening brings a level of purity to the reader's perception.  You get a sense for how "wrong" it was then.  Whether it happened as much as it does now is a moot point, for it is within the views of the society in which you live that that you find the shocking quality.  Current media still plays upon the drama of infidelity, but with an underlying thread of inevibility.

What I do not like:  Coming across words like befurbelowed.  "Children, freshly befurbelowed, were gathering for their games under the oaks."  What the hell does that mean?  Jamie and I had a ball with that word last night, using it willy-nilly in various sentences, and thinking about trying to use it out and about in the world the next day.  It was so fun (OK, so I didn't really not like this part after all) that I don't know if I even want to know what the definition really is.

I looked it up.  As far as I could see online, it is not defined by any dictionary.  I did find this answer on ChaCha, a Q&A website that I have never seen before, "Befurbelowed ? Furbelows are flounces or elaborate trim on a dress or shirt. Befurbelowed means to be dressed up in particularly fancy clothes."
So, have fun with that one.  We kinda like how it sounds like Beefer the way we pronounce it.  "Beefer-bellowed"  he-he

Have fun reading!
Melissa

  

Reading The Descendants

Posted by Melissa Baumgart
The first book choice for our "Read a Book a Week" month is The Descendants by Kaui Hart Hemmings.  It is a movie out on the theaters right now, and has been nominated for numerous awards; most notably the Oscar's for Best Picture, Best Leading Actor, Best Director.  I first heard of it as a movie, and have been drawn to go and see it, although I have not.  I thought maybe the draw was the fact that it is set in Hawaii, given our dark and rainy winter days here in Seattle.

Turns out, not only am I taken to the islands as I quickly read page after page, but I am also taken right into the King family.  I love the main character.  He reads as being honest about his flaws, admittedly lost in his life as it unexpectedly unfold before him and human.  The family is far from "perfect", even with all their money and beauty and the perks that those things can bring.  Things I sometimes wish I had, a pool, a house on Oahu, the beauty of a model.  Things that admittedly, I think would make life "perfect."

I find it refreshing to read a book about a family that is what it is.  A family with kids that act out and say things they aren't supposed to say.  And while there are some things about their life and behaviors I don't desire for my own, I find them all endearing and lovable.  I'd say the author has done her job well.

I wouldn't say this book is filled with lyrical prose like I have found in All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy or the last book I read, A Super Sad True Love Story by Gary Shteyngart.  Those books were at times slow, but there were those sentences or paragraphs that lifted my heart and senses with the author's artistic skill.  Leaving me in a moment of connection with all that is, opening and connecting with life itself.  I know, that's some powerful shit right there.  And all from reading.

The difference, to me, in Hemming's writing so far is that I haven't come across any of those sentences that give me rise from the mundane of my everyday existence.  However, of equal importance, is the fact that she accomplishes that same effect overall.  It is through the dialogue, through the inner dialogue of the main character and through the way the characters bear the pain of avoiding being fully alive to the cruelty of life.

It is the dawn of the fourth day of the first week of our reading challenge.  I am happily 133 pages into my  283 pages book.  I have 150 more pages the I am eagerly looking forward to.  I feel like I am cheating by reading this book.  It is so easy to read, so engaging.  But cheating or not, today I will read on!

Don't forget to click "Yes!" on our poll in the sidebar if you are joining us on the "Read a Book a Week" challenge.

-Melissa

What are your sentiments?

posted by Melissa


This week I have had two momentous points of finishing something I set out to accomplish.  And after tomorrow it will be three things, although the third is not quite as satisfying.

On Monday night, I finished All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy.  I have been working on this book since the late Autumn.  And here it is Spring.  Reading books is something I wish I did more of, like eating fish or having patience with my kids.  I find it extremely hard to find books that capture my attention enough for me to get past the first few pages.  Short attention span maybe?  Or refined literary taste?  Sadly, I think I know the answer.

*            *          *

Today, I finished my 30 day challenge of Bikram yoga at the SweatBox here in Capitol Hill.  Amy and I went to the morning class, and my friend Kristy came along.  Our teacher, Laura, made the class special in so many ways (she often does).  Today she read an inspiring poem at the beginning of class and another at the end.  I swallowed back the urge to cry during the poem she read as we all rested in our final savasana.  The feeling of gratitude for being able to show up everyday, the depth of her appreciation for our dedication to ourselves and the words of the poem all came together and hit me right in the center of my chest.

The Good People

The Good People everywhere

will teach anyone who wants to know

how to fix all things breaking and broken in this world –

including hearts and dreams –

and along the way we will learn such things as

why we are here

and what we are supposed to be doing

with our hands and minds and souls and our time.

That way, we can hope to find out why

we were given a human heart,

and that way, we can hope to know

the hearts of other human beings

and the heart of the world.

Danny Siegel

*         *          *

And tomorrow I will finish tai chi month.  Wishing I had done more.  But being OK with simply learning about the ancient practice, opening my horizons to kung-fu movies, and incorporating 5 minutes of walking meditation into my daily life.

I think it is through the yoga that I learn to expand my attention span so I could reach my goal of finishing the novel.  It is also through practicing simple things like slow walking or walking meditation for just 5 minutes a day, even if it is in the midst of children yelling and pushing to get to the bathroom.  Leads me to wonder what other books might I now be able to finish?  What other uncomfortable situations might I be able to bear without letting it shake my foundation?  

In All the Pretty Horses McCarthy writes, "In the end we all come to be cured of our sentiments.  Those whom life does not cure death will.  The world is quite ruthless in selecting between the dream and the reality, even where we will not.  Between the wish and the thing the world lies waiting."

The word sentiment can be defined as: A view of or attitude toward a situation or event; an opinion.

Yoga cures me of my sentiments.  

in gratitude,

Melissa

  

what beauty lies 11 pages away from where you might give up?

posted by Melissa


Do you ever start books and have a hard time getting through, oh, I don't know...the first 150 pages?  Sometimes, a lot of times, that happens for me.  Even with books that I eventually end up liking, if I ever do get past those first pages.  I started the book, All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy (Don't read the "plot summary" part of the link if you haven't read the book, it gives away the story line.)  about 5 months ago.  Just a week ago or so I made it past page 150, and it finally got gripping.  So much so that last night I was actually angry at Tallulah for not wanting the light on because I wanted to keep reading the book in bed.

I find this whole tai chi adventure to be similar.  Here we are half way through the month and I am still confused, my attention drifting easily to everything else in my life, and wondering why I am doing this in the first place.  But like the McCarthy book, I have something invested in finishing this out.  With the book it was my love for his other book, The Road, that kept me going.

tough choices 

With tai chi, it is the blog, and my love for finding my way through whatever challenge it brings that keeps me going.  If I had first read the horse book without having read the post-apocalyptic tale beforehand, my guess is that I would have given up on reading about horses.  And if I did have a commitment to this blog, and what I have seen transform in myself through the pursuit of the blog, I would probably have quit you too, tai chi.

And so this morning, instead of finishing my horse book, I will pick up this lovely little gem of a tai chi book and see where it takes me.  Who knows, I might find a passage as moving as the one I will leave you with today.  I found it on page 161 in the horse book...11 little pages past my usual quitting point.  I guess you never know what beauty lies a few page turns away.

"THAT NIGHT he dreamt of horses in a field on a high plain where the spring rains had brought up the grass and the wildflowers out of the ground and the flowers all ran blue and yellow as far as the eye could see and in the dream he was among the horses running and in the dream he himself could run with the horses and they coursed the young mares and fillies over the plain where their rich bay and their rich chestnut colors shone in the sun and the young colts ran with their dams and trampled down all the flowers in a haze of pollen that hung in the sun like powdered gold and they ran he and the horses out along the high mesas where the ground resounded under their running hooves and they flowed and changed and ran and their manes and tails blew off of them like spume and there was nothing else at all in that high world and they moved all of them in a resonance that was like music among them and they were none of them afraid horse nor colt not mare and they ran in that resonance which is the world itself and which cannot be spoken but only praised."  -Cormac McCarthy, All the Pretty Horses 

Ok, so I know I said I was leaving you with that quote, but as I wrote the title to the post it got me to thinking.  What else do I give up on?  Why?  Isn't it sometimes good to know when to say something isn't working any more?  How do you know when that time is right?  or wrong?

I, of course, started thinking about yoga.  In class yesterday my teacher, Laura, said something that totally brought me to a new place of my practice.  And one that coincidentally is totally aligned with my writing this morning.  She said something to this effect, "In Bikram yoga it is believed that you get the physical in shape and the spiritual will follow.   Physical, mental and then spiritual."  She had also shared another little nugget of wisdom earlier in the same class about moments of self love and how we come to this class for ourselves.  This is MY practice, wow.  For me.

And it hit me, in every class lately I have so many moments of wanting to quit.  "I'll only do one of those postures."  Even when I can physically, I fall out mentally.  I was showing up for the challenge of the 30 days, for the teachers, for the Sweatbox...but not for me.  This is my life, this is my practice, my body.  It is so motivating to be reminded of what I fell in love with about Bikram yoga.

What beauty lies within me...maybe just one pose away?  I think I am willing to find out.

And now I really will leave you...with one of my favorite Bikram quotes:

"Never too late, never too old, never too bad, and never too sick to do this yoga and start from scratch once again." -Bikram Choudury

peace,
Melissa