I'm a mom now. It's time to buy bigger pants.

Posted by Amy Baranski

Last year I gained weight--real weight--which I was very happy to do because I was pregnant with little J-rock.

I spent a lot of the time thinking I wasn't gaining enough--especially when I compared my bump to the ladies in my birthing class. Turns out little J-rock had a little body.

Everyone told me not to worry about the weight. This made me worry more. In the end I gained between 34 and 36 pounds. Pre-pregnancy I weighed between 124 and 126 pounds (depending on the time of day, week, or month). By full term I maxed out around 160 pounds. Since then I've been wavering around 150. Until last week! I weighed 141--so some weight has finally started to move.

Some of you are probably thinking pfff 160 is my target weight. You are probably taller than me.

Take solace in the fact that (as Melissa and Erin will say) short bitches might be skinny but they can never be tall.

3 body lessons I learned during and after pregnancy:

#1: Every woman has a very specific body chemistry and set of health circumstances which can make pregnancy difficult either during pregnancy, AFTER pregnancy (as was my case), or never. It's really individual what will happen to you.

#2: Food is really fucking important during the post-partum period. Why on earth was I NOT hungry in the weeks after giving birth? Maybe it was those amazing placenta pills I had encapsulated ... or the bad taste of banana vomit that was still in my mouth from the actual birth...I dunno. But the moment I started eating, really eating again, my milk production was better and my whole body was better...even if it was getting bigger.

#3: I felt sexy when I was pregnant--everything was taught and round. I also felt really good before I got pregnant. I had spent a year practicing Bikram Yoga regularly and honestly was in the best shape since I was 15-years-old, maybe even better. During both of these periods I was exercising (regularly!) and eating whole foods. I'll probably have to do this again to see real change.

Some time in the post partum period I woke up one morning and thought:

I'm a mom now. It's time to buy bigger pants.

Honestly, I came to that conclusion, the day after I wore my maternity pants *backwards* out in public to a local coffee shop staffed by good looking and clearly never-impregnated young women. Maybe they've had abortions - who knows - but still. It was embarrassing. That and the fact I was only wearing one sock. (I forgot to put them on before wrapping the baby in the Moby...continuing to bend over to get the second sock on just became too stupid after a ten minute attempt - sue me.)

So I sucked it in on election Tuesday, drove to Old Navy near South Center mall (where I wouldn't run into anyone I know), and madly tried on several pairs of jeans while I made my infant son do tummy time on his blanket in the dressing room (gross or ingenious?)  I didn't even try to jump and squeeze my way into the Diva jeans. I just grabbed the size 12, tried them on, and called it good.

I decided to give myself until 6 months to do anything about the weight. But honestly we're going on 8 months here and I haven't really done anything. Except last month I started cutting out refined sugar and making more food at home. So that brings us to this month--loose weight month. The recommendation for nursing mothers is generally to not loose more than one pound a week. So that makes my goal to loose 4-5 pounds this month. I'm starting six days late. But here goes...nothing (or hopefully five pounds).

And if I'm lucky...I'll be able to wear my Lucky's at the end of the month, without camel toe!