I thought about quitting

Reading, in Seward Park, on a sunny Seattle day.

Posted by Melissa Baumgart
I finished my first book!

Well, of the "Read a Book a Week" challenge, not my first book ever.  Duh.  Although, there have been times in my life when I felt like I would never finish a book.  I picked them up in abundance, read a few pages and decide them to be flat, contrived or just plain old bad.  My husband, Jamie, wrote this in the front page of a book he bought me in 1997:

"Melissa,  After you read this book...then maybe we can get you another one.   

With stern affection, Jamie."

The book was titled, Self-Reliance. (Inspirations from Ralph Waldo Emerson.)  I truly believe Jamie thought I would never finish that book.  And therefore I would never be gifted another book.  Ever.  However, I can be determined to not give up in the face of those nay-sayers thinking I'll quit, and I read that entire book.  Lord, I am nearly 3 figures in debt due to the fact that I was told by a few people that I would give up on my graduate school.  Well, that and the inner compass leading me to my true destiny.  (As an aside, Please, let this still be true, and let one of the midwifery schools I applied to call me.  Soon!)

Regardless, what I am trying to say is that, historically speaking,  I have not been a reader.  In my undergrad I majored in English, and was horribly embarrassed by my lack of knowledge around the classic books that everyone else had read.  The truth is, I hated some of them.  Maybe I am too low brow for fine literature?  Maybe, like my taste and aptitude for puns, I fall into the category of low?

Fine with me.  Call me tasteless, call me average and mainstream...I loved this book that I read, The Descendants.  It wasn't all artsy and hard to follow.  It was simple, direct, emotional and real.  But, I have to admit, as I read the fist page, I thought about quitting.  I thought it sounded flat and contrived, like so many others.  I read on, given my commitment to the blog, and my commitment to proving Jamie wrong about my reading ability. (Yes! Still, after 15 years.)  And not 10 or 15 pages into the book, I was hooked.  I wonder how many other books I might have loved if I never gave up on them.

I started a new book today, a day early.  So far I like it.  It seems a bit fancy, in that as soon as I started figuring out the story line and who was who, the next chapter threw me for a loop with a new person in the first person, and I had no f'n idea who they were.  Well, I did, but my idea made no sense given the first chapters.  I guess I'll just have to keep reading and hope it all becomes clear.

And hope that I love it.  I really do.  Otherwise, this week is gonna be hard.  Because as much as I loved The Descendants, it took a lot of time.  Time squeezed in between school, parenting, studying, blogging, sleeping, eating and watching TV.  (Speaking of, I dreamt last night that I was hanging with the Kardashians.  Kris Humphries was flirting with me, and while I don't find him attractive, I still flirted back.  No one cared since Kim had already divorced him.  It was just weird that he was even there.)

How are you all doing with your reading?

Can I convince anyone else to read The Descendants?  I need someone to talk to about it!

Don't forget to let us know where you stand on the poll?  Are you reading a book a week?  Are you reading 2 books this month?  Or are you cheering us on, and maybe reading a book at your leisure?

-Melissa

  

Yes, I admit to Keeping Up

posted by Melissa Baumgart
Yesterday I watched the Kardashians.  It was mid morning and I wrapped up in a blanket, sat on the couch, and watched Kloe's wedding.  I experienced a myriad of thoughts and feelings.  They ranged from satisfied, relaxed, pathetic and embarrassed to apathetic, justified and lazy.  I had cramps, and it seems like lately (since I am unemployed and not in school) it's my monthly excuse to plop my butt on the couch and do a little "Keeping up", if you know what I mean.

I know I said in a previous, inspired post, that I would never ever watch that show about the 1% again.  And yet, there I sat, guiltily subdued by the drama and bling.

I could have been working on finding funding for school. (NOT, because every time I go talk to the person they send me to, that new person has no idea why they sent me there in the first place.  It is a hamster wheel of educational and government bureaucracy and all I want to do lately is jump off and lay in the smelly cedar chips that make up the cage called my life.)

I could have been singing karaoke, but then I would have had to plug in the machine.  And get dressed, because the TV is right in front of our big window.

I could have went to yoga with Jamie, but I would have had to have drank a lot more water in preparation.  I hadn't.

I could have cleaned the house.    

Instead, I did nothing.

Why do we feel so bad about doing nothing?  Or about going back on passionate declarations about what we will and won't do with ourselves.  Isn't it human to do these things?  Isn't it after all just one day out of our life, or a couple hours?  And then a new day dawns, perhaps like this morning with an amazing sunrise over the mountains.  See, I knew it was over the mountains, even though I couldn't see them because I live in the first floor dark dungeon apartment, not the airy and open, light filled third floor apartment.

But anyway, a new day does come around, no matter on which floor you reside.  A new list of things to accomplish gets drawn up and you just get to work.  It's 10:20am and I already have four out of the 12 things crossed off.  Not too shabby for a girl that sometimes just can't resist that temptation to Keep Up. 

Jumping head first

posted by Melissa Baumgart

Who wouldn't want to jump into the blue waters?

On again, Off again
Yesterday I did not run.  Amy and I spent the day making a flier and handout to support the Occupy Wall Street movement that is spreading in our country.  We printed out the document drafted by occupy Wall Street called the 99 Percent Declaration, in which they propose creating a National General Assembly.  The NGA will be comprised of 870 delegates, one woman and one man from each of our 435 congressional  districts across the country.  These delegates will compile a list of grievances from their constituents and present hem to the President, Congress and the Supreme Court before the 21012 election.

We also prepared ourselves for a night of sitting with those at Occupy Seattle, at Westlake park downtown.  Unfortunately, we did not spend the entire evening.  I completely support this movement, but I did not want to support the behaviors of those camping out last night at Westlake.  They were provoking and calling the cops names, and quite frankly I did not think they were upholding the proposals voted on during the 3 hour General Assembly just prior.

I hesitate to post this.  Because, one, I don't really feel this blog is a political platform.  And, two, I don't want to bad mouth this Occupy movement.  I believe in it.  I am inspired by its potential.  I just do not see how the actions of those protesters at Westlake last night are going to propel this movement positively into the future for our country.

I read a post by Naomi Wolf this morning about her recent arrest in NYC, surrounding the Occupy Wall Street protests.  She is very well versed in US history as well as our rights to protest and have our voices be heard.  I would suggest and strongly urge anyone who is interested in affecting some positive change to educate yourself.

I am going to be reading Wolf's book, Give Me Liberty - A Handbook for American Revolutionaries.  In it she sites historical references and gives tactical plans for things like staging a protest, direct-action activism, and organizing a town hall meeting.  Things we should know, as Americans that want to actively engage with our country and government.

I know, I jump head first into everything.  I bet if you look at the pattern of this blog, you would see an interesting graph line distributing the time spent toward the blog clumping together in excited magnetic propulsion.  And then, of course, the lull of doubt and contemplation about life and where I am heading with it all.

So, yes...On again, off again.  With the blog (sometimes it's all I think about!), with the Occupy Seattle protest (now doubting, thinking I just don't support what appears to be a radical anarchist takeover of the Wall Street protest), and likely, with the Kardashians (hey, I miss them, and yes, sometimes I would rather be them, swimming in the clear blue waters near the Hilton in Bora Bora)...if I am to be completely honest.  Which I tend to be.

-Melissa