Wednesday, December 29, 2010

be very thoughtful, and then let go.

The Baumgart family Xmas tree
so, remember last week, when i didn't want to go to drum class?  and then it turned out, class was awesome.  Seems every week (even without me practicing...shhhh, don't tell my teacher) i get better and better.   i mean, not to toot my own horn, or beat my own drum as the case may be...(seriously, sometimes i think i have a blog to simply let my cheesy, ridiculous side shine) but, i have been getting better at this.  the only time i pulled my drum out from under the cowboy hat that it displays in my pink kitchen, was on christmas eve.  we had a hell of a party...i made a shit-ton (a phrase that has taken up space in my inner monologue for weeks, why?) of tamales and a lot of margaritas and palomas.  Everyone that came, at least 30+ people brought lots of other yummy things to eat and drink as well.  and a good time seemed to be had by all, especially when gathered around the foosball table cheering yours truly on.  yes, i take that shit seriously.  and Rosette, i ruled that table, you never stood a chance.  i am the competitive wench my mother-in-law calls me, i guess.  yet, somehow, it doesn't feel great to be called that by your mother-in-law when you are simply racing your kids in the swimming pool.  so what i if i am nearly 30 years older than them.  anyway.  i got out my drum, and while listening to the Grateful Dead, eyes closed, head making figure 8's in the air...i played it.  i actually played the drum i paid $25 to rent for the month.  and it rocked.  maybe not my playing, but that moment of remembering the "old" days, and jamming out like the hippy that i am.  it was all worth it.

so tonight....i had my last (maybe) drum class.  i really, really did not  want to go.  i actually thought of pretending i forget to give my husband (a previous drummer) one of his Christmas presents and say i was giving him my last drum class.  cause i am so giving like that.  but i bucked up and went, cause i have been slack, yet again, and felt i needed to be loyal to the commitment i made to you faithful readers.  if you are even out there at all anymore.  i went.

and i kicked ass.  so, i went late, cause i am usually the first one there and it is super awkward for me.  just me and the teacher, shaking the little egg shaped shakers and i hate it.  i hate it.  then we get to the clapping and the fancy foot work.  and finally other show up, but still i hated that part too, cause it used to make me feel like i was falling over and like i was a complete idiot for not being able to clap and step. let's stress the word "used".  i used to hate that part.  but now i got it, i can totally get that together, hand, foot, hand shit...and it love it.  so, i get there late...and there are all new people.  i am the only old student...and when the shit hits the fan, i totally kept it all together!  i carried the beat.  the other students were looking to me to see what to do!  can you believe it?

i wanted to go on and on to the newbies that were obviously having a hell of a time just clapping, that it was me only a few short weeks ago that was almost falling over trying to get the basics.  and now look at me!  clapping, footwork, and singing...all different rhythms, each part of me, and keeping it together.  unbelievable!

i said in class tonight, and the teacher's like you have to concentrate to intensely, and then be able to let go and let your body keep doing the things you thought so hard about and trust that you will keep doing it.  be very thoughtful, and then let go.  um.....kinda like life? right?

tonight i contemplated continuing drumming, even after night of dreading going.  the bembe got to me.  the afro-cuban beat that calls god to be with them, that was originally used to call from one village to another in Africa (so, maybe i could be wrong but this is what i remember from class).  it got to me.  i felt like i was one and yet part of another whole.  i highly recommend drumming.  i highly recommend trying new things.  everything is connected.

and just wait...not only does next month, the last month of our twelve month journey involve meditation, yoga and probably a bit of the cleanse found on vegan month.  but there is another exciting announcement.  new things on the horizon for Good Luck with That!


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