"I feel like I am worrying about something that hasn't happened yet."

posted by Melissa
Last night as I was turning off the lamp to get Tallulah to sleep, she turned to me and said,
      "Mama, I feel like I am worrying about something that hasn't even happened yet."

It reminded me of my blog post from the other day when I  was all worked up over everything I had to do, assuming it was going to be awful, before it even happened.  In her case it was that she was thinking about how her brother Levi often has a fit over something or another every morning, and she was thinking about that before bed.  And in her case, the thing she was worrying about, mostly likely would happen.

How do you explain to a 5 year old, that you didn't even know had the capacity to come up with that statement, how to let go of those worries?

by Melissa

One way I thought of was the slow walking.  It wasn't a way to directly answer her question, but as something to add to all three of my kids day that would help them calm down.  To give her a tool to use that would help her body and mind not get so worked up.  Lord knows, everyone in my family can use a bit of that.

This morning before I set the timer to 5 minutes, I asked my kids if they would like to join me in my slow walking.  An emphatic "NO!" resounded through the long narrow hallway to the kitchen where I stood.  I continued on, starting the timer and taking my slow steps.  Heel to toe, left to right, knees slightly bent, breathing slowly in and out through my nose.

(Note to self:   Next time, do not walk toward the children. Positivity, in any form, seems to piss off the "tweener" child.  As does calm talking.)

Next thing I know, Levi is yelling at me,

"Mom! Stop it!  What are you doing?!" in his whine/cry high pitched desperate way his voice gets.

"I am slow walking, Levi, like I told you.  It is calming, let's your body know everything is ok." I replied.

Levi walks past me into the bathroom, "Slow walking is stupid!" as he pushes me.

Tallulah has me cornered in the hall, arms stretched out so I cannot walk any further.

"Tallulah, pumpkin, please move so Mama can keep walking." I said in a calm, self-help CD kind of way.

"No, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama!  Stop.  Stop.  Mama!", she cries back at me, still arms outstretched, not budging.

The thing is, walking slowly doesn't build up enough momentum to knock her over.  So I turned.  She scurried to that side of me and held out her arms again, repeating Mama without any reason for needing my attention.  All the while Levi is still yelling at me from the bathroom.  And it's 8:30am, half hour til we leave for school, and Lily isn't even out of bed.

Oh well, one less child to yell at me, I am thinking.

Somehow I managed to get my 5 minutes in.  I wasn't able to consistently breathe slowly, but I did keep my cool.  Now there's a novel idea for the Baumgarts.  Maybe I have to slow walk all day.  Maybe we all should.

The calming effect didn't last long.  By 8:50am I was yelling at Levi for being on the computer before school, yelling like no one else was watching...until I realized our front door was open and my neighbor was standing right outside.
"Good morning,"  I said, sarcastically, with a big wide smile.


How was your morning?

-Melissa

how do you slow down?

posted by Melissa


Take a deep breath.

That what I needed to do several, no hundreds of times, in the past few days.  And after all that getting worked up, it wasn't as bad as I had imagined it would be in my head.  Looking back to when I sat here writing my last post, I feel like I was a little Tasmanian devil whirling around typing furiously.  I can't believe how much we can stress about things that haven't even happened yet.  It's no wonder I was having a bad yoga class that day.

Tallulah June, fashion show 3/25/11

Lily's party was so fun....we did hair and makeup and had a music filled fashion show with the runway right down the middle of our dining room.  Lily loved it all...and so did I.  I would post a picture of her, except her idea of high fashion involved some hot pants that I just do not want seen in a picture of her out on the Internet.  Seriously.  I can't believe how grown up 11 years old is.  Here is one of Tallulah though, way more appropriate.  Very 5 years old.

Tai chi.  I know this month is about tai chi, not birthday parties or yoga.  Even though that is what has been consuming me this week.  I really wish I could have gone to that class on Thursday, that is what I need to learn tai chi.  A teacher, a class, and clear step by step instruction.  Repeat.  Repeat again.  And again.  Then it begins to sink in.

Currently, tai chi looks like this for me: I get out my tai chi books and try to follow along as I have the book sitting on the table in front of me.  I get to the third step, just after the part where you step your feet apart and raise your arms up and down...and that is about it.  I am able to do the "slow walking" that Saul taught us, as painfully slow as that is.  It is amazing how much my thighs hurt and how wobbly my balance gets just shifting weight from one foot to another, and moving forward very slowly.  
And this is before I have a glass of wine, or have shotgunned a PBR!

Even if slow walking is all I learned from tai chi month, it can still be meaningful.  If, and I stress that word if...If I use it in my life.  I think that taking a deep breath could have helped me through this week when I reached my frazzled, whiny states.  Slow walking would have also helped.  Just realizing I have 5 minutes to be slow would have sent a message to my charged endocrine system to also slow down.  That everything is ok, and we don't need to be in flight or fright mode 24/7.

So, for the next 5 days, that is my commitment for the blog.  I will spend at least 5 minutes slow walking.  Anyone else up for the challenge?  It's just 5 days.  I can see it now, people across the US and Switzerland (I know where my audience is) slow walking in their homes, in the park, to the grocery store.  It will be a phenomenon, the new "it" thing to do.   This is a link to a walking meditation instruction, which is the closest thing I have found to what we learned that day in class.  Check it out and give it a try.

So much in life tells us to be faster, keep moving, onto the next thing.  I feel like it could be so useful to have more stimuli to the brain and body letting it know it is ok to slow down.  That is why savasana is so hard sometimes, it can be easier to sweat and work your muscles til they burn, than to lie still and rest.  At least when we are moving we are "doing" something...and that's the American way.

What ways do you slow down?  OR do you feel like going, going, going is it for you...that it works?  If so, why does it work?  Leave me a comment, let me know your thoughts on being slow....

peace,
Melissa