It's about progress, not perfection

Posted by Melissa Baumgart
This weekend was a gorge-fest.  Filled with my own not so healthy version of "Let your food be your medicine" to help with some unexpected anxiety that came up and the inevitable "Oh-my-god-I-better-get-in-all-the-carbs-I-can" situation I found myself in since Paleo starts today. I had mashed potatoes, bread and butter, macaroni and cheese, a cookie, bites of pastries, cheese and crackers.  And HANDFULS of Sweet-Tart jelly beans.  Really, anything I could get my hands on. 

This weekend, Seattle. 

So, Amy and I were going to do our last weigh-in today.  But I just don't feel like it is telling of most of my month in March.  I worked really hard almost all month, and in all (aside from this psat weekend) I had lost a total of six pounds.  Eight pounds since starting Weight Watcher's the couple weeks before March.  So, in my bloated state this morning, as I type through a fog of post-carb induced coma, I don't think the two pounds I added on this weekend are real.  They are going to drop away as soon as I get moving and eat healthy.  I can gain a couple of pounds so easily.

Reading over what I have written thus far, I wonder how much of the inner chatter of self degradation I have dropped.   Why do I need to justify the number on the scale?  Why did I turn to food as a means of comfort?  Why do I look toward a new healthful way of eating and stuff my face with what I think I will miss?  This is a process and I am learning.

Maybe I am not always perfectly on my game.  Maybe I make mistakes.  The point, this time, is to not throw in the towel after one week or one weekend.  To wake up on a foggy Monday morning and start over again.  Put on my running shoes, plan out my Paleo month, and be proud of the progress I made during March as a whole.

Stay tuned for the "Rules of Paleo" for GLWT coming later today.

Someone tell my body that this month is NOT called "Gaining Weight"

Photo from www.lilwoodys.com

Posted by Melissa Baumgart
Honestly. This week, I have been following Weight Watchers points to a tee.  Even overestimating what I might be eating, as well as running 5 days this week.

So, let me break it down.  I am allotted 26 points per day and I am given 47 points per week to add in as a choose.  They also give you "earned" points for working out, of which this week I have earned 30 points.  The earned points can also be used for the week, as you please. They say that even if I do add in those extra points, I'll still lose a small amount of weight. 

Wrong.

Every day this week, I have been meticulous about my point counting.  I even cut out all wine, to exclude extra unnecessary points.  I only went over my daily points once, using 3 weekly points.  And guess what?  So far this week...I HAVE GAINED 2 pounds!!!!!

It's real hard to not get discouraged.

It's real hard to not go and get that damn cheeseburger from Lil' Woody's that I so desperately want, with a side of queso fries.  Mmmmmmm.

According to Weight Watchers, I actually could.  I certainly have enough extra points for it!
I could even get the Big Woody!  (That's what she said.)

What? Where? How?

posted by Melissa Baumgart

Maybe I should stick with a swing.

What have I got myself into?
November is here.  Already.  When I settled on the idea of doing trapeze for one of our months, Amy and I had just finished our first 30 Day Challenge of Bikram yoga.  I was feeling strong, capable and perhaps a bit daring.  It seems it is easier to feel daring when something is far into the future.


Flash forward 10 months, and here I sit, staring at the flying trapeze right in my face.  Like I mentioned before, I am a number of pounds heavier a lot less daring, and certainly not nearly as strong physically.  I did start back to yoga last week and went 6 out of 7 days.  I plan on doing that again this week.  I think it will help, but I still feel very hesitant about trapeze.  So much so that I couldn't even bring myself to do our signature photo shoot this month.  What would I wear?  Where would we shoot?  I was uninspired.  


How am I going to be able to lift myself with my own arm strength up an aerial silk?  Also add in my fear of heights, and how in the world will I be able to jump off that flying trapeze platform.  Shit.  What have I got myself into?  Oh, and by the way, our first class is this Saturday!


Where am I going?
Then there is the rest of my life.  Ever since I got kicked out of school, I have felt a bit stuck.  I rushed into the decision to go to school, because that is the way it was presented to me.  I had about 2 minutes to decide whether I was going to school or not.  I jumped in, and gave it everything.  But now that there is this lull, this pause for some reflection, I feel lost.  


Do I really want to be a nurse?  Was I in it for the money?  Would I rather open a little cafe since I love to cook?  Would I rather dedicate myself more to the blog and see how this could grow?  Would I rather join the OWS political movement and give my time and effort there?  Or should I help Jamie get his business growing by helping with office/paperwork/advertising?


And why isn't it clear?  Does anyone out there know for certain that they are fulfilling their life's destiny?  I just want to feel satisfied with my work, like I am helping humanity in some way, make enough money to have a simple and easy life, and have enough me time for things like yoga.  


How will it look?
When I am standing up there on the flying trapeze platform, scared shitless to jump, will I feel so alive that everything becomes clear?  I can only hope so, because otherwise, I don't know if I'll be able to convince myself to get up there.


-Melissa

It's getting better all the time

 Here's to you and your mile!

posted by Melissa Baumgart
My son, Levi, ran with me today.  He was kind and chilled his pace down a bit to stay back with me.  What a kid!  He did finish about 10 seconds ahead of me, and I was happy for him.  Until he called me fat a half hour later.  I weighed myself today and my suspicions were correct, I have gained back 2/3 (20 pounds!!!!) of what I lost a year and a half ago.

How did this happen?  I know...I love poutine, I love pizza, I love burgers and fries.  And I lost my yoga practice when I started school.

I seriously hope that running one mile  day does kick start my love for being fit.  I know it felt good to be fit.  But so does going out for a yummy burger.  I just cannot seem to find a way to be in balance with it all.  I swing from one extreme to another.  Perhaps this small and reasonable goal will be a shot of temperance in my otherwise turbulent life.

That being said, I did add in another element.  How could I not?  I wouldn't be me if I didn't.  But I am keeping it simple as well!  I am doing 20 crunches a day and starting at 5 push-ups a day.  I hope to work up to 50 of each.  Next month is Trapeze Month for christ sake, I better work on my core and upper body strength if I want to have any fun at all in November!

Today I increased my run time again.  We ran a mile in 8 minutes 38 seconds, a speed of 6.9 miles per hour!  The best part was that I didn't hate it as much as the day before.  And what I want you all to know is that I squeezed it in between bringing my kids home from school at 3:20pm and leaving to take Talullah to her soccer game at 3:45pm.

I repeat me new mantra, "You Can Do It!!!"  Even with limited time, even if you walk, even if you go slow...you can fit this in!!!

Here's to us!
Melissa