You are full of...LOVE

Posted by Melissa

“Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings.” ~ Rumi - See more at: http://yoganonymous.com/yoga-inspiration-my-25-favorite-yoga-quotes/#sthash.srzpOEM7.dpuf

My last yoga challenge in August/September felt like walking through deep, thick, emotional mud compared to this one. I cried most days, both in the studio and out. I spent several pranayama deep breathing exercises hoping that my tears and trembling bottom lip were hidden by my arms as I pushed my head back as far as it would go until I could see the wall behind me. I rested in savasana instead of triangle pose, vacillating between self hate and deep gratitude. I don't regret a second of how I moved through that challenge. It's all part of my journey, both in the studio and out. 

The difference between that challenge and this one is so drastic, that I almost have a hard time accepting it.  I'm more comfortable with the other me. I know how to do struggle and upset. In my story of myself, I am good at being cranky and bitter. And I'm exceptionally good at not being good enough. Now here I am 28 days into a 30 day Bikram yoga challenge and I'm not crying every day. I'm not resting in a sweaty puddle of self loathing during triangle pose. I'm standing strong, attempting trikanasana to the best of my body's ability each and every day. I'm meditating everyday. I'm making time to take care of me. I'm creating new stories about myself that are full of power and possibility, both in the studio and out.

Most important of all, and I mean more important than doing any posture during class, or even showing up everyday, is the relationship I have with myself. I thought I wanted to make friends with triangle pose, but really, I wanted to make friends with myself. My kids still tell me that I am cranky, I still have days where I don't feel great or I cry, sometimes I have moments of hating things about my life, or moments of hating triangle pose and the way my body looks in the studio mirror. And then I remember that those feelings will pass.  I remember that life isn't always comfortable.  I remember that I am still full of love, no matter if I have a "good" class or a "bad" one.  A "good" day or a "bad" one. 

I feel incredibly grateful for everything that has conspired recently to create the perfect environment for me to make friends with myself.  I'd love to encourage you all to take time for yourself everyday, and to appreciate your effort to do so.  You are all full of love, both in the studio and out, even when you least feel like you are.

“Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings.” ~ Rumi - See more at: http://yoganonymous.com/yoga-inspiration-my-25-favorite-yoga-quotes/#sthash.srzpOEM7.dpuf

“Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings.” ~ Rumi - See more at: http://yoganonymous.com/yoga-inspiration-my-25-favorite-yoga-quotes/#sthash.srzpOEM7.dpuf

“Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings.” ~ Rumi - See more at: http://yoganonymous.com/yoga-inspiration-my-25-favorite-yoga-quotes/#sthash.srzpOEM7.dpuf

“Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings.” ~ Rumi - See more at: http://yoganonymous.com/yoga-inspiration-my-25-favorite-yoga-quotes/#sthash.srzpOEM7.dpuf

“Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings.” ~ Rumi - See more at: http://yoganonymous.com/yoga-inspiration-my-25-favorite-yoga-quotes/#sthash.srzpOEM7.dpuf

“Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings.” ~ Rumi - See more at: http://yoganonymous.com/yoga-inspiration-my-25-favorite-yoga-quotes/#sthash.srzpOEM7.dpuf