yes, practice today!

i am all ready. dina is coming over and we will get to practice, together, before our next class. so what we will have 7 kids here in my capitol hill apartment. we will be getting our groove on amidst the chaos. i have had a little bit of a cold and a lot going on. as always. so i didn't practice yesterday...instead i worked and spent the evening making fabric yo-yo's for a quilt for the kid's school auction, then cooked dinner, made more yo-yo's and crashed on the couch. i did run through it in my head while sewing...a lot. except in my head is where i look really good doing it, remember that thing? so, maybe not a good place to be, since reality is so shocking afterwards. sunday, i just practiced a little bit at work. and my friend niki gave me some tips on what to do to get ready for the part where beyonce bends down and then pops right back up, so gracefully.i plan on taking her advice seriously...starting today. then after work, jamie and i celebrated our anniversary of the day we met. to me, it is the more meaningful anniversary since we have been together ever since then. when we first met we spent 24 hrs a day together for at least a couple years. we were traveling, living on the road. those were such good times. we were such a great match back then...and today, well...today we are re-learning what a good match we are. those days shaped who we are today. it's just that, sometimes i feel that my brain worked better in that lifestyle...trying to "make things work" here in society, in american society, can be so challenging for us. for me. in my heart i don't feel like i fit in, and yet i try so hard to do so. i mean, we are all running around like crazy, with busy busy schedules...for what? to come home to a messy house and kids screaming and fighting, only to wake up and do it again tomorrow. back then i felt like tomorrow always had such huge possibility. who knew what lied at the end of that day's road. here's a picture of us from when we first met. such hippies. on the road. i think that was taken on the side of a highway in Texas. right after we met at mardi gras...and today is mardi gras! i totally forgot til just now. wow. 14 years ago. i couldn't have guessed i'd be here in seattle with three kids...embarking on another kind of trip. one to find my "thing." a thing that, in my mind, will hopefully bring more meaning to the everyday. i do love my family, my life...really, somewhere inside i do. underneath all the busy busy.