This is harder than I thought....

Painting..hmmm sometimes I think you are fun and calming and other times I think you are the worst activity I have ever tried. This is so much harder for me than I ever thought. It is so interesting because I had a great first go at it but now it has become a struggle. Not so much just putting it on the paper but being ok with how it looks on the paper. Many many tries have gone to the trash because I can not seem to be happy enough with what I have done. "you are not good at this", "this is terrible", "embarrassing", " I can't do this"...these words over and over in my head. I usually am a pretty confident person but this has really changed the way I think about myself. I guess maybe the things I normally try or do are things that I am pretty sure I would be good at and never really have gone out and tried something totally different. I thought that I would be able to really complete something that I could hang in the house or in my office but now I am not so sure...no real plan at all. Ughhh why can I not just get over myself and do this? I will not quit..keep trying! Sorry for complaining but I am struggling...suggestions much appreciated! xxoo-Dina