Thursday, January 22, 2015

Found my glow

Posted by Melissa Baumgart

I reached into my purse to clear out loose change so I could empty it into the change jar that my oldest uses to take the bus to school every day, since she had yet again lost her Orca card (for non-Seattleites, bus pass).  I gasped loud enough to startle my kids as I saw what I had pulled out.  It was a small, round, metal pin that I had never seen before.  I have no idea where it came from, but there it was in my had a heart on it and the word "Glow."

It was during my 60 day challenge in August/September that I first found my glow.  It must have been a day in September, because I know it was toward the end of the 60 days, and I know it was a Thursday night class at 7pm with Gary.  I was on my mat, in one of my usual spots in the middle rows on the right side of the room.  It was a very focused class for me, no fidgeting and just staring at my own reflection in the mirror.  There was very little darting around the room with my eyes.  Laser beam focus. 

Then it happened.  As I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I saw a yellow glow all around my body.  I thought maybe the heat was getting to me and I might be about to pass out...but, no, I remained standing and conscious.  The glow was around me for the rest of the class.  Each pose had its particular struggle, and that was OK, I realized the poses aren't meant to be without effort and sometimes pain. In between poses, I had the most peaceful savasanas I had ever experienced.  The whole class, I kinda felt like I was floating.

After the 60 day challenge, when I dove back into junk food, wine and no yoga, Amy and I often joked about how I lost my glow.  Then one day another friend reminded me that even when it's cloudy, the sun is still up there, behind the clouds.  And that even if my mind felt cloudy and my heart felt heavy with rain about to stream down my cheeks, my glow was still inside of me. 

Finding the glow pin reminded me that it's always been there, my glow is always with me.  Even when life is a struggle and sometimes feels painful, maybe it's not all meant to be easy, and we just need to find savasanas along the way until the clouds once again part and you see your own glow.

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