I almost didn't even change October's blog photo or background. It seems I can barely keep my head above the pool of "stuff I have to do" these days. I feel lazy and cranky. I didn't go to tennis lessons today, because there is simply too much to do. My kids are already feeling the effects of Mama not being home all the time and I am one month into school.
But it is all good stuff. So, while I feel cranky one minute, I feel incredibly grateful the next. I am finally able to pursue my dream to become a midwife. I was at my school this week to view a documentary, Birth Story, about Ina May Gaskin, author of Spiritual Midwifery. They showed a breech birth that happened years ago at The Farm in Tennessee. I keep visualizing that birth, experiencing the feeling of watching it and being on the edge of my seat, and sensing my chest expanding into a deep gratitude that I too will one day be witness to the beauty of childbirth...day after day. How lucky to be able to have a career that is that fulfilling?
So, as October settles into the second week, I am thinking about the blog and how I can gracefully accept where I am in my life and the limitations it places on the time I have to commit to "extra" things. The blog has meant so much to me for nearly three years, that as the thought arose to let it go, I immediately knew I could not.
Sometimes less is more. I see the blog changing into less of a strive for daily posts, and more into a simple message that even busy moms can find the time to give to themselves a little every month. My goal for the month of sign language is to learn:
- the alphabet.
- 10 words that can serve me in the birth community
- a simple conversation starter.