It takes love, not fear

Nettles, one of the many herbal teas
Dora Rare learned about in the book,
The Birth House

Posted by Melissa Baumgart
It's about time to tackle that fridge and freezer and get them all cleaned out and organized.  And it should be time I get my butt back to a water aerobics class.  But I have been consumed since yesterday with two things.  One is my statistics project, where my study partner and I compared the likelihood of breast feeing among populations of women that gave birth vaginally and women that gave birth via a C-section.  The other is the book I finished today, The Birth House.  I feel so alive; I can feel joy and satisfaction expanding in my chest where my heart resides, as I have been living and working with these two "projects."

The first, the statistics project, overtook me with a fevered pitch of internet research.  I found a "Breastfeeding Report Card" issued by the CDC (Center for Disease Control) in 2011 and discovered that there is a push to increase breastfeeding rates by 2020.  I was impressed, and admittedly a bit skeptical.  I don't know why, I guess I have some inner dialogue that tells me my government isn't actually every going to do anything truly healthy for its people.  What a pessimist.

In our small sample of 133 women, we found that the rates of women that give birth vaginally and are still breastfeeding at 6 months was quite a lot higher than the national average (this included all births, not just vaginal), which is 44.3%   We found that 76% of the women we surveyed, regard less of how they gave birth, breastfed for at lest 6 months.  And that the rates were fairly equal among both ways of birthing.  

I scoured the internet further.  I found loads of studies on the government's WIC (Women Infants and Children) program and the drastically low breastfeeding rates of the recipients of those benefits, regardless of WIC's claims that it overwhelmingly supports breastfeeding.  I am not shocked to find out that the infant formula triopoly of Mead-Johnson, Ross and Carnation all contribute to the fact that WIC has a dependency on rebates from formula companies to fund a portion of the program.  And I wonder why I question our government!

The second, the book, the lovely book I found on a random shelf at Value Village on President's Day.  It takes place in Scots Bay, Nova Scotia in the early 1900's, and revolves around the main character, Dora Rare.  She is sent to live with the old witchy midwife of the small rural town where she learns all of her skills and secrets about women and babies.  There is drama around a new maternity center in a more cosmopolitan town nearby and the Dr. that runs it.  The reader learns of the drastic difference between the way Dora learned to help women through birth, and the twilight sleep and forceps used by the all knowing Dr. Thomas.

As I was sitting in the café at school today, finishing The Birth House, I unexpectedly felt tears rolling down my cheeks.  It wasn't that the ending was sad, like the last books I have read.  It was that the ending was so heartwarming.  Miss Dora Rare, after having been through so much, finally comes to a place where she is able to assist mothers in the way she had been trained.  I read on, as she lays out the simple rules of her birth house:

• No woman or child shall be turned away.
• No payment shall be required.
• No idle gossip or cruel words shall cross the threshold.
• No one may attend a birth unless requested by the mother.
• Mother and child (or children) shall stay in confinement for at least nine days after birth, or until the mother's been churched.
• Well-wishers may not enter unless the mother approves.
• The mother's home must be clean and tidy, her house-hold chores looked after, and supper enough for a week must be waiting for her when she returns home.

Now that's what I am talking about.  I bet all those women breastfed their babies, and if they couldn't, some one else did it for them.  Now I am not saying this is the way for everyone, but Dora Rare and the women of Scots Bay sure were on to something.  And that something is honoring women enough to allow them to birth in the way they choose.  It means trusting that each woman will instinctually know what her baby needs, that we should stay quiet enough to let her figure it out, while offering just enough love and support to make that process as stress free as possible.  It takes love, not fear.

"The world will know and understand me someday.  But if that day does not arrive, it does not greatly matter.  I shall have opened the way for other women."  -George Sand

Hot Tubs, Moldy Towels and The Birth House

Posted by Melissa Baumgart

A Weekend Away.
I had the pleasure of going to the Oregon Coast this past weekend.  Our dear friends (and GLWT reader number uno) hosted us at their beach house just south of Astoria, OR.  I loved every minute of it, from driving through the old town where the Goonies was filmed, the windy walk down to witness the mighty Pacific Ocean, the sauna, the breakfast of seasonal frittata and dinner of dungeness crab to catching up in front of the fire after the kids were tucked in bed.  So, no, I did not do any water aerobics this past weekend.  Not unless you count raising my glass while relaxing in the hot tub as a form of excersize.


My Pool is Closed.
It's a bummer, Green Lake's Evans Pool is closed for two weeks.  I am hugely disappointed, since that was my favorite place for water aerobics in Seattle.  I just don't know if I'll find another spot that fills me up, emotionally and physically, like that one.  If you know of one, I am all ears.  And in case you weren't aware, I prefer my water aerobics in the deep end with lots of old people.

Project Simplify is on.

I don't even use half of this stuff.

Last week, Amy started a challenge that has to do with organizing.  Amy found a blog, Simple Mom, and she does a decluttering/organizing project every March.  She sets up guidelines and helps you to focus on one "hot spot" in need of attention in your home every week.  When I first read Amy's post, I cringed.  Organizing and cleaning used to be my thing, until kids.  I suppose I still do OK in the category, but for me, with these things, it's like I either do it really well or I throw in the towel.  Consider my towel thrown, so long ago, it's probably in some cluttered recess of my closet growing the mold that is giving me allergies and my leg rash.  Now when I hear about other people "organizing" my ego takes it as a personal blow.  Like someone just plastered my old moldy towel on the cover of US magazine next to Snooki's baby bump.  


My weekend away was spent with a friend of mine that excels in the organizing and cleaning categories of life.  Every closet or drawer I opened was a new challenge.  How do I feel good about my personal flaws in the face of perfection?  Well, believe me, it is hard for a Virgo woman.  Hell, it might be hard for any woman, if they are being honest.  It wasn't until I got home that it really hit me, when I was faced with all the clutter and disorganization and mess of my own space.  I walked through my door with a smile on my face from all the fun, and quickly discovered an uncomfortable chip on my shoulder, longing for the neat and orderly me of yesteryear.

The wretched container cupboard. 

Instead of wallowing in my imperfections, I decided to move through my cringing and right on into Project Simplify.  It feels like less of a To-Do list for me, and more like some kind of intense exposure therapy.  Let's just hope it goes better than my trip to the mountainside.  Although, I wouldn't rule out a few tears being shed.

This week is going to be spent tackling the kitchen.  I love cooking, so this is an area I spend a lot of time in.  I figure it is a good place to start.  I have agreed to three things for the week:

1. Cleaning out my fridge and freezer.  This means getting rid of things I don't use, no matter how healthy and good they are for me.  If I don't use them, they are doing no good.
2. Organizing my containers, plastic and otherwise.  This cupboard is out of control.  I can get it all tidy in the afternoon, and by nightfall it is a complete mess.  I am going to also find a way to keep it tidy.  My recent purchase of a Martha Stewart magazine on organizing says, "Staying organized is an ongoing process; if something isn't working well for you, change the process until it is."  That is my goal for this cupboard.
3. Making a meal plan and sticking to it.  I used to do this and it always felt so good.  Knowing that all the fresh, healthy food in my fridge is going to be used and not found rotten two weeks later is always a good feeling.    

Reading more.

I have continued to read, since last month sparked my love for reading.  I am not reading at the same pace as last month, but I am working through a 400+ page book, The Birth House by Ami McKay.  It takes place in the early 1900's and is about a woman that apprentice's with an old granny midwife and has to cope with medical technologies like twilight sleep being offered to the women of her rural town.  She has to walk the delicate line between being a good wife in the context of the culture she was raised in, and following her calling, which is serving women, not her husband's needs.

I am really enjoying it and I feel a strong sense of reading the right book at the right time.

Until next time.  And please, consider checking out a water aerobics class near you.  I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
-Melissa