Show up

Posted by Melissa
April is coming to a close and I am happy to share I found the time to create two macramé pieces.  One is currently hanging in my front window and the other is on the wall in my living room.  Having grown up in the 70's, I always wondered why I had a dark and vaguely negative notion about that decade.  It was like I rejected all the Saturday Night Fever and 8-track tapes of my childhood because I had fallen so hard core for the Bel-Biv-Devoe, Big Daddy Kane and waiting-like-a-statue-to-catch-just-the-right-second-of-each-song-from-the-radio-to-create-my-mix-tape of my adolescence.

This month of diving into macramé has brought a light to the darkness that inhabited my memory of the 70's.  Now, when I walk through my living room and I catch the unmistakable 70's vibe, I feel good.  Not only do I feel good, I love it.  I love it because I created it.  And I have also noticed this month, other things around my home that I have created, all due to jumping into this blog.  I have paintings I created, a headboard, a garden, a whole new mind and body. 

The piece I created as my wall hanging isn't exactly what I had envisioned.  And that's totally ok.  I can always make a new one.  Because even if it is like my kitchen wall moment, that too eventually faded into something more relevant and beautiful...the fact is that I did it.  And like yoga, (it always all comes back to yoga) sometimes it just matters that you show up.  Even when it's not perfect.

Shoulds

Posted by Melissa
I usually work every Sunday.  Today I have off.  I thought about all the things I could do with my day off.  I had quite a list of things that I should do...go on a hike, go to the spa, go to yoga, visit my mom, clean my house.  Instead, I chose to watch movies all day and do macrame.  And I feel great about it.

I'm on my third romantic comedy of the day.  It's called "The One I Love."  It's a delightfully bizarre love story.  It's nice when a movie provokes you to think about life, feel deeply and learn something new about yourself. All of my choices led me through that mental and emotional landscape today.  But everything always seems to work out in the movies.  Even if it seems like the character has really fucked everything up.  It's comforting.  Starting with Bridget Jones' Diary and ending with Beginners, it was a perfect day of "me" time. 

I walked to the local "everything" store in between movies and grabbed what I needed to start a new macrame project.  It's going to be a wall hanging, made with thick white cotton rope, above my couch.  I have been dreaming of creating this very thing for years.  It feels good to finally do something you've always wanted to do. One of those things that you carry around as creative inspiration, but then somehow it morphs into a weight of something you should be doing.  

Last night I was thinking about how precious life is.  I thought, that what if I died...what would I regret having not done?  The first thing I thought about was writing a book or a screenplay.  I'm at a time of transition in my life, for a while now.  It almost seems like I am always in transition.  Always figuring out what is coming next, where to go, what to do.  Is that just what being an adult is like?  Am I the only one still feeling like I haven't figured it out yet at the age of 42? I do know that I am done carrying around writing as a weight, It's time to simply sit down and do it.

No matter what happens, or what I continue to not figure out...at least I created macrame.  At least I felt deeply, loved hard and wasn't afraid to make mistakes along the way.  At least sometimes I knew what shoulds to follow and what ones to let go. And I keep being blessed with a new dawn to keep trying.

Artist at work

Posted by Melissa 
We finally started doing macramé.  And I love it!  Have been listening to rap music and doing macramé for the past 24 hours.  Life is good.

 Amy's son, Japhy, loves to run through the hanging cord and grab it and mess it all up.  It's fun to see him enjoying our craft, but when I am ready to start tying knots, I simply say to him, "Artist at work," and he leaves my cords to me.

I decided to not use a pattern and to just go free-form.  It's a bit unsettling.  Sometimes I step back and I love what I see...the fluidity, the lack of structure.  Then all of a sudden, I hate it and I want it to be perfect.  I keep thinking it seems incoherent. 

Most of all though, I do feel like an artist.  I feel like I am creating in a whole new way.  It is inspiring on may levels and I am so happy to be experiencing macramé.  Finally.