Sunday, July 25, 2010

not your usual month

hello everyone!  if you're still out there. 

I have been out of the country...i never really get to say that, by the way.  i didn't have my phone on, access to a computer, or anything beyond the island i went to.  it was lovely.  the ocean was beautiful and it felt so good to swim in the clear water.  we were in the Dominican Republic, Punta Cana to be exact.
and now i am off to the Jersey Shore...
so it may be another week before i get back to this.
of all months i am shocked that writing month turned out to be a bust for me.  I thought for sure it would spark my creativity and imagination. 
so anyway...

Saturday, July 10, 2010

the Sun sun sun, here i come!

i am referring to the magazine, of course.  i just finished my piece for the "Readers Write" section of the magazine.  the topic was...making it last.  and although i thought writing about chewing a piece of bubble gum for two weeks would be a fun way to explore the topic, i went with using my marriage as the thing that has lasted.  i wrote about how yoga has helped us work through our challenges as a couple and open our hearts to each other in a whole new way.  in a way that i never even knew was possible, or knew that i wanted.  i thought i was just fine being non-affectionate and closed off.  turns out, i guess it was fine for that time...but now there is this new amazing way to be together.  a way that is more giving to ourselves as individuals and therefore opens us up even more to each other.  so...i am going to go back and edit it tonight or tomorrow and then print it out on Monday and send it on in.  chances are, it won't be published.  but for me, the fact that i actually am going to send it in is a big deal.

i have attempted the morning pages several times, and get distracted by kids and such.  i really need to get up earlier if i want to make the morning pages work.  but for some reason, i have not been sleeping as well as sleeping in has been helpful.  keep in mind, sleeping in around here is 8am.  i wonder if i am just too excited for my trip, and it has me racing in my brain into the night.  last night the last time i checked the clock was 2:20am.  and i hadn't slept yet.  i know some of you probably suffer from insomnia and falling asleep at all sounds like heaven.  but that is strange for me, i am a pretty good and pretty heavy sleeper. to write a couple poems.  i don't know how comfortable i'll be posting them.  we'll see.
and then off to enjoy some of this amazing Northwest sunshine.  at the beach with my bro!


In Maryland!

Hello from Maryland....So my blogging everyday idea does not really seem like it is going to is so hard from my phone and getting to a computer seems difficult.  Big news is that we got our VISAS!!!!!!!  So that is it...we are moving.  Walter leaves on Monday and Ian on Tuesday....the girls and I will follow on the 23rd.  I am so excited..this is really going to happen.  The girls and I had a calm and easy flight from Seattle to DC.  My girls are really so good..they were perfect on the flight, easy, quiet, and great!  Madeline is a huge help..playing with Hazel, pushing carts, she is really getting so big.  We got our rental car and off to my moms.
We are here and enjoying the pool and hanging with family.  The girls seem calm and well adjusted to all the travel.  I have a million things I want to do here but just going to take it one day at a time and see how it goes.
As far as writing month goes...I have been keeping a journal diary over the last few days and I love it.  I am kinda writing to my girls...something for them to read when they are older.  I like it..feels good...I hope to continue!

More time is over :)!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

sunshine=better day

yesterday was a much better day.  i hate to say that this may all be somewhat weather dependent, but the sun did finally shine yesterday.  and the other day...the blah day...well, summer was long overdue and the weather was quite blah itself.  so, we are a week into July and i have written morning pages most days and i took notes for the piece on menstruation one day.  that's all the writing i have done.  in an attempt to charge my writing battery, i am going to work on some creative writing today.  poems.  prose.  that kind of thing.  i used to love poetry classes in college.  i was actually an English major in my undergrad.  that's why i picked writing, because it was something i really loved at one point in my young adult life.  i think writing has always been something that i still love to do, but making time for it to bloom is the challenge.  it seems to take some time for me to get into a "writing" or "creative" space.  and with three kids and a job and my new passion for yoga and getting ready for a big trip...i am having a hard time carving out that space.  excuses.  have i mentioned my trip to you all?  in one week i will be heading to Baltimore for a few days and meeting up my my in-laws and then going to the Dominican Republic.  after that, a week at the Jersey shore and then back to Baltimore.  I'll be gone for three weeks!  i don't think i have ever gone on a trip like this.  and i have never been to a tropical island.  ever.  i am so excited.

oh, i am back.  i was getting distracted on the internet, but a good thing arose from my distraction.  another writing idea.  i love the Sun magazine, and if you don't know it, i suggest you go out and buy a copy and check it out.  anyway, they have a section called "readers write" and you get a new topic every month to write about and can submit your writing.  this month is "making it last" and i am going to submit something.  i have always wanted to, but never have actually followed through with it.  if they publish your piece, you get a free year subscription to the magazine.  so there, another writing project and a deadline, August 1st.  i like that.

i finished my belt yesterday, you know, for the dress.  maybe I'll wear it to work today.  alrighty, now off to see if i have someone to watch my kids so i can go to my Bikram yoga!


Monday, July 5, 2010

blah day

today is a low.
i don't know why.  my family has had a rough day.  levi woke up and was still upset from the night before and spent most of the morning into the afternoon crying and having a fit.  tallulah and levi both got hurt several time this afternoon.  i was cranky, moody and feeling kinda blah all day.  we had dinner plans with dina and family, and they were cancelled.  oh yea, cancelled cause tallulah had diarrhea....i forgot that bit.  now, of course, she seems fine.  but since dina and the girls are traveling in a couple days, it seemed best not to risk them getting sick. is so weird that i may not see them before they go to geneva.  and sad. and that's just how life goes sometimes.
i did get up and write my pages this morning.  two pages cause i got up late.  i think i forgot i had to work so i didn't even set my alarm for this morning.
what else?
not much. went to yoga.  now i should just finish that damn belt and flower.  but i feel so irritated.  sewing may night be the best thing to do.  maybe head to bed, and start over tomorrow.


Sunday, July 4, 2010


I am really trying hard to enjoy my last few days in Seattle since the reality is I have no idea when I will be back.  I think we have every intention of returning here but Ian and I have been having some fun with the "what ifs"...where would we go if we did not come back to WA???....San Diego always is on the list so fun to think about that kinda stuff but we will see.  So I guess this is my second writing month blog about my move and well unfortunately not much to say different from the last one.  At this point I am not sure we will ever make it to Geneva.  Still no visas..grrr...they say soon but they always say soon so I really have no idea.  I leave for DC on Thursday and who knows I may need to enroll the kids in school there...I really hope it does not come to that.  My kids are super excited about going to should be hot and fun!  We spent the day in West Seattle at the beach.  It was cloudy and cool but fun anyway.  We still are not leaving Walter alone so we are being creative with places we can take him.  I know this may sound nuts to you nondog loving people but my dog makes me so happy....I just love him!  So having him around has been good for me.  The kids had fun playing in the sand and god they were a mess.  You know some interesting things about me is that I really want to enjoy the beach, pool...etc but the reality is that hmmm not so much.  The beach is just so messy and the pool well swimming in a public pool is not something I will ever do by choice.  It is not so bad that I won't get in or take my girls but I do what I can to avoid it...just seems gross to me.  See it is interesting that I would even want to go back to San Diego as it is mostly beach, pool, and sun but I do like the idea or lifestyle of all of those things.

So this is my second full week of not of it I love and parts are really hard.  I miss it terribly...I do love spending the time with the girls but it is the balance I miss.  It was not just a job to me but part of my identify...something that filled me up..something I was good at.  My families were so generous with lovely thank you cards and gifts..I felt appreciated in every way and will miss them all.

So my 4th of July gift is NOT having to go see fireworks.  Ian is going to take the girls to Bellevue park and I will have some mama time.  I have been keeping to myself lately and really enjoying the time.  I like being alone...I think I have always been that way.  I finally have decided not to try to be someone I am not but just do things I like or that make me feel like me.

So 4 more days to go....I will continue to wonder if I will return to Seattle so I will enjoy it while I can!


independence day

so i have never been much on patriotism.  it could be my all or nothing attitude, but somehow knowing the history of how we took the land from the native americans and how we enslaved just has always been difficult to fully embrace a joy for the US of A.  like, oh yea! we are free and independent! control someone else.  that is so twisted.  and human.  so, maybe i start there...seeing our history for its humanity.  and knowing that humanity isn't always pretty.  still, just not feeling it.  but i do think fireworks are pretty.  and i like having parties and seeing friends and family, so I celebrate.

but we could take this day and think what have we become independent from in this past year?  for me, it has been some of my negative self talk, 33 extra pounds, and a resistance to love.  2010 has been a rocking year so far.  and i am so excited for the rest of it to unroll.  how bout you?

and writing.  can you believe i totally forgot the morning pages yesterday?  just never even a though in my mind.  i went to yoga at 10am with jamie and i was so excited to go, that i didn't think about the writing.  and then there is was in pavanamuktasana with my left knee pulling up towards my left shoulder and i remembered the morning pages.  shit.  i think i said it out loud.  and then after yoga i had to rush to work and worked til late writing yesterday.  but i did wake up and get straight to it today.    it feels good.  to write pen to paper.  old school.  i get a little impatient at times, but that it good practice.

and what to write about?  i keep being drawn to learning about the menstrual cycle.  i just never seem to be able to remember all the hormone changes and patterns and pathways of hormones and how they feedback with each other and what effects that may have when things are out of whack for a woman's cycle.  and i want what i write about to tie into this new (ok, so it isn't new, it is like the hundredth time i am saying this) revival into birth work.  it is all related.  if i ever do become a midwife.  and that is a big if.  well, let's just say seems that whatever i do is related to health and herbs and women.  so learning about the cycle is going to be so helpful.  and whether i write a book for young girls about what to expect and what to know about their bodies or i end up assisting women at their births...or both.  this is a good step along the way.  i also think the point is to just do what i am drawn to and not question it so much and not to think i have to know where it is leading me.  be here.  now.  write the article.  teach a class in the fall.   attend some births in the fall.  and not get any further ahead of myself than that.  keep myself on a 3 month leash.  perfect.

enjoy your day...

Friday, July 2, 2010

morning pages, day 2

it takes longer than i thought to do three pages of writing.  i am guessing it took about 20 minutes.  and i realize twenty minutes isn't that long, really.  but in the morning when my kids are talking to me and there are things i have to get done, it feels like a long time.  maybe tomorrow i will set the alarm and get up early to write them.
it's a rainy day here in seattle...surprise surprise.  maybe it will be a good day finish the belt and flower for the dress.  and get some reading done for the article i may write.  why am i not totally agreeing to this writing?  hmmm.  in my pages this morning i was thinking about writing a book.  but i hate to break it to myself, but i may want to start with an article before i get carried away into a book.  ha!
i am actually sitting here listening to my 10 yr old talk with her friend about dreams they had last night.  they were talking about how they can alter their dreams.  sometimes.  and of course there were parts with smooching.  girls!  so cute.
alter my dreams.
and i just got reprimanded and told i was "going bazooka gum!"  because it should be the girls happened to be talking about smooching.  not of course they were.
i think I'll interview the girls.  see what they want to know about their bodies and changes going on and getting their period.  maybe that will be a good start to the writing.  the book i was envisioning was geared towards young girls, and their mom's.  a section of the book for each.  and i was wondering how i would relate or remember what it was like to be where they are.  so, I'll just ask them.
wonder how this will go.....

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Time to Write...

A few things about me...when things in my life are crazy, stressful, sad , emotional, etc I do not like to talk about it at all..instead I tend to go inside myself and be alone to deal.  I don't know if it is right or wrong or maybe there is no right or wrong but it is just who I am.  I am sure one day I will just explode but over the past 33 years of being this way I have not yet so I guess I am ok.  Maybe this is why I never did like going to therapy...guess the point is to talk about things and well no so much for me.  So I tell you this because I feel like I have been totally absent from this blog and that is really only because I have been pretty much absent from everything.  I really want to thank the people who don't care that this is how I am, that I never call them back, cancel playdates, cancel dinner dates, and yet they still send me little notes and try to just make sure I am ok, never take it personally, never ask why and...I am thankful for that.

So I guess I tried to explain all that as I decide how I am going to approach writing month.  Yes things have been crazy in my life but the good news is I am moving to SWITZERLAND!  Seriously...Geneva living in Europe.  It is going to be amazing...if I ever can get there.  This leads me to what I will write about...This month I am going to blog as much as I can...try everyday since it is writing month as use it as sorta a journal of how our move is going..the ups and downs, humorous and sad.  I don't want to blog/write about feelings, emotions, the inner working of my soul..nope none of that is for me I am just going to tell you what is going on and maybe some funny things we have done along the way.  This feels good to me and I think I will enjoy reading it back when we get there and the girls may enjoy it here we is writing month and the Terry family is moving to Geneva..via Bellevue and Maryland :)!

July 1, 2010
We have seriously been waiting for our visas for like forever..well maybe not forever but these final ones are taking a long time.  Everyone in Ian's group is already there so this is good and bad.  Bad that we are the last ones to leave (also the last ones to apply so kinda makes sense) but good because he has been home more spending time with the kiddos and Walter.  Oh walter..we have been living in a temp apartment in Bellevue and Mr. Walter has been having significant separation anxiety meaning crying, yelping when we leave.  He is totally fine when we are here but we have gotten a few complaints about him..oh my.  So we basically love our dog like he is human so Ian has been working from home so he does not have to be alone.  Think he is going to like the airplane..not so much.  I am going to go ahead to leave for DC on the 8th to hang with the family before Geneva and Ian will leave when the visas are ready.  I am excited to go but it sure will be HOT..I see much pool and AC in our future.  The girls have been doing great with all the transition..they are a little needy but well so am I.  For today..the girls asked to see Amanda ( my dear friend and the best sitter in the world) so off to build a bear for an airplane snuggle friend and lunch.  Please pray for visa news tomorrow..but since it is writing month I will let you know!

Thanks for following our move!